


College Daze

by AngelOfDeath10



Category: Rurouni Kenshin
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Drama, F/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-14
Updated: 2019-10-14
Packaged: 2020-12-14 23:57:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 35,332
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21024371
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AngelOfDeath10/pseuds/AngelOfDeath10
Summary: Enishi/Kaoru, Kaoru, a college sophomore, pines for Kenshin, a senior and her friend, Enishi comes onto the scene with a mission for vengeance and everyone's social life becomes needlessly complicated.Originally written in 2003.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimers: All standard disclaimers apply. The characters of Rurouni Kenshin do not belong to me, they belong to Watsuki Nobuhiro. This goes for this chapter, and any following.

"Midterms are death!" Kaoru crashed down on the couch with a sigh. The lounge in the math building was old and musty, but the benefit was that almost no one was ever there. This was especially true on Fridays, and what with her last midterm being done, Kaoru didn't feel especially like going home yet.

"My brain feels like I just pushed it through a sieve and poured it all back in through my ear!" Megumi rubbed her temples and tried not to let stray worries about equations rumble through her. "Multivariate is the seventh ring of hell."

"It's your fault for waiting so long to take it." Kaoru fished around in her bag from some chapstick.

"Listen. I want to be a doctor, not a mathematician. I'm not going to have to take a derivative when I'm removing someone's appendix. Math requirements are only taking time away from precious biology."

"You're crazy with all that science. I can't imagine why anyone would be pre-med."

"Just because you haven't declared anything yet doesn't mean the rest of us can't have some direction."

"Don't start with me. I refuse to think after performing math gymnastics of the calculus sort."

Picking themselves up, Kaoru and Megumi made their way down the hall and out into the only slightly cold October air. It was a nice day, but the clear days were always the coldest. Kaoru shivered and cursed how cold she was since again she had forgotten to bring a heavier coat, as in her mind sun should connect to warmth. This always happened in the fall, and she cursed it not being cold enough to just use winter clothes. Megumi breezed ahead of her, ready to start the weekend. Kaoru envied Megumi to some extent because at least she could look forward to spending time with Sano, while all Kaoru could do was angst over.

"Kenshin!" Megumi called out ahead. "Wait up, we're about to go get something to eat. You want to come? We can celebrate the dubious state of our academic records together."

"Erm. I think that sounds very nice Megumi, thank you for inviting me. But, I really need to get this form signed so I have a room to present my thesis in." He smiled at Kaoru as she approached them and Kaoru was glad that her cheeks were already red from the cold so that her faint blush wasn't visible.

"Always thinking so far ahead. You should live a little bit. The worry will get to you someday. At least come by and visit later tonight then." Kaoru hoped she didn't sound like an irresponsible ditz. It was a stupid thing to worry about, but she was always evaluating her actions around Kenshin. He was a smart guy, and a good friend, but it would just kill her if he knew how much she liked him.

"I'll do that. See you later." He continued on in a different direction and Megumi and Kaoru resumed their walk home. They were both silent a few minutes.

"You should just tell him you know. It's getting a little bit pitiful the way you pine after him. It's been almost a year now." Megumi had no compassion for Kaoru after hearing her whine about Kenshin for so long. Kaoru got a sullen look on her face and deigned not to respond to Megumi.

"Sometimes I wonder if he knows and just doesn't say anything about it." Kaoru finally said something after they walked in silence a little more. "He's just so far out of my league. If only I were a senior too."

"I don't think that him being a senior has anything to do with you being a coward." Megumi interrupted with a sharp laugh. "Get some guts and tell him how you feel!"

"It's easy for you to talk, Sano was the one who asked you out. You haven't had to face anything that mortifying." Kaoru sometimes envied Megumi because she actually had a relationship whereas Kaoru just wished she did. Even though Megumi and Kaoru were both sophomores, Sano was a junior and quite the activist on campus. He had met Megumi when she was his lab partner in biology last year, (a subject he barely passed) and had decided in his blunt and presumptuous way that they should go out. Kaoru remembered walking in that day to walk with Megumi to lunch only to find her in her 'righteous anger' phase. His dictatorial attempt to win her favor had only aggravated her highly developed sense of feminine empowerment. The volume and rapidity of her words were astounding as she told him off and then left him standing with his mouth hanging open. It would have been funny enough if it had ended there. However, apparently her strong mindedness only made her more appealing because every day for the next three weeks Sano asked her out again and again. only to be turned down. In a moment of pity for the poor guy, Kaoru eventually cornered him and offered to set them up. So Kaoru told Megumi to meet her for dinner at a restaurant and sent Sano instead. As was expected, the evening was disastrous, but for some reason Megumi agreed to see him again. It had just kept going with the same sense of the confusing combination of antagonism and attraction since then.

It was through Sano that they met Kenshin. Some days Kaoru cursed her luck about that. Sano had met Kenshin a long time ago, and had stayed pretty good friends and so whenever Kaoru and Megumi were hanging up Sano would often bring along Kenshin. At the beginning Kaoru was bemused at the quiet and polite Kenshin being Sano's friend. After a while she was grateful for Kenshin's presence because once Sano and Megumi began to get closer then Kaoru had someone to talk to. What a trap that had been, she now thought, how they had grown mentally closer until they were friends too. Now she liked him and she couldn't tell him for fear of losing him. What a rotten rotten thing to be friendzoned. But now Kenshin was in his last year, he'd be giving his thesis in Psychology this year and then leave for graduate school. She would probably almost never see him again, so she might as well go for it. There were worse things. like regretting not telling him for the rest of her life. She would tell him this year, but the need to procrastinate was so tempting that she couldn't summon a feeling of urgency just quite yet.

"Kaoru! Are you listening to me?"

"Yes, yes Megumi, something about a party tonight."

"I knew you weren't listening, it's tomorrow night. And we need to find costumes, it's a Halloween party."

"But it's not Halloween yet. That's a week and a half away." Megumi gave her a sour look. Kaoru, who wasn't terribly thrilled by the supernatural, had never been terribly thrilled by the holiday. But she was always up for a party, so she would dress up if she needed to. "I suppose I could go as..um."

"I'm going as a doctor, of course, and you can go as something that suits you." Megumi smiled. "You could be a raccoon. That would suit you perfectly."

"You can't be my friend anymore!" Kaoru laughed. "You're just too mean!"

*

Sano lazily draped an arm around the shoulders of both Kaoru and Megumi. His lanky frame towered above them as he pulled them in for a hug. Megumi and Kaoru yelped in surprise, and Megumi almost immediately retaliated by smacking him in the arm for scaring them.

"What took you so long? We have to get to a thrift store fast or else we won't have a costume worth wearing!" Megumi wanted immediate action, but Sano sat down and pulled an apple out of his bag. He obviously was in no hurry.

"You're so worthless! Give me your keys and I'll get the costume for you! But we have to go now, and I don't have time for these games." Megumi said it in a half scolding manner, but she smiled as she said it.

"Sure babe," he tossed the keys in her direction. "But I already bought something for you."

"If I hear the words 'French' or 'maid' come from your mouth then wrath will descend upon you from above."

"Er. Have a good time looking for costumes." Sano seemed a bit off put.

As Megumi and Kaoru walked towards the car, they saw Kenshin approaching them from a little ways. He waved at them and they waited for him to reach them before they left. After offering him a ride to the thrift store, which he accepted, they were off to de-stress with some cheap and quick shopping. The thrift store was only about fifteen minutes away, and full of musty smelling things that screamed yard sale even as they were somehow charming in their eccentricity. Kaoru and Megumi came often to look and laugh, and today was no exception. Kenshin seemed to feel a little out of place as they giggled over ugly clothes and odd shoes, and so he wandered over to the books and sports equipment to try to find something.

It was easy enough for Megumi to find some scrubs, and she ended up buying a cheap looking lab coat from the Halloween supplies that were out in full force. She even got a short blonde wig and a plastic saw to make sure her doctor was suitable unreal and funny. Kaoru was clueless as to what her costume should be.

"You're always too unsure of yourself. Just make a decision already! Or I'll make one for you." Megumi ran her hands along the racks. "You could be a Catholic school girl, or a harem chick, or a clown. Yes, yes, I like the clown one. If you don't choose anything for yourself then you'll have to use whatever hideous creation Sano bought me."

"I'm just not inspired by any of this, Megumi." Kaoru looked around and fingered material in a lackluster manner. Peasant girl, prostitute, karate student, vampire. Nothing seemed very special. Maybe that was best. Just be something terribly typical and no one could really complain. "I guess I could be a witch. I'm pretty good at being whiny and evil when I want to be."

"You're sure right about that.. Ow!" Megumi rubbed her arm where Kaoru had smacked it. Kaoru gathered together the appropriate articles of clothing including hat and wig, and they went to find Kenshin. The poor boy was quietly reading when they converged upon him with evil grins.

"We found you the most adorable costume Kenshin. you have to try it." His eyes grew wide as he saw impending doom sweep down.

"Oro?"

*

Sano, in his ninja costume, seemed to be having fun playing around with some plastic throwing stars he had gotten at a supermarket. The fact that he could have lots of cheap plastic weapons was the main draw for his pick of costume. As soon as Kenshin had come downstairs Sano had started laughing so much that he could barely hold it all in. The girls had dressed up the poor, amiable, and uncomplaining Kenshin as Raggedy Andy. His face had been made up a little bit to make him even more doll-like. The big blue overalls and red striped socks protruding from the bottom of his pants didn't help any either. The girls, of course, were only just starting to change and Sano tried to make Kenshin feel better about his ridiculous appearance, but failed miserable by laughing at him with each word. Sounds filtered downstairs from the changing room.

"No. I said no. If you rip it that high people can see.."

". the whole point is to make yourself attractive, not hid behind some bag of a dress."

"It will ruin it though.."

"You paid three whole dollars, I don't see why."

A ripping noise distinctly sounded.

"GAAAHHHH"

"Oh don't be such a baby.." More ripping.

When they finally made their way downstairs, the men were quite curious about just what exactly had happened. Megumi came down first, her scrubs and coat smattered in fake blood, the blond wig in disarray and looking generally like an insane doctor. Kaoru had to be coaxed down, but when she did the men were fairly impressed. Whatever Megumi had done, it didn't look bad at all. The white wig, and black eyeliner and makeup were not done to make her look ugly. In fact she had a somewhat Elvira look to her. The pointy hat drooped a little at the top, reflecting Kaoru's lack of confidence in her appearance. Her black stockings peeped through a dress ripped so high on either side that you could tell the stockings only went to mid thigh. Megumi had cinched up the middle with a large belt so that the dress gave Kaoru more pronounced curves. The sleeves had been ripped so that up to the elbow they hung in tatters. The front had been torn in a ragged V, showing off more skin than Kaoru felt was decent. In defiance to her friend's attempt to make her look sexy, Kaoru had insisted on black tennis shoes.

"Someday your evilness will bite you in the rump my friend," Kaoru said with a grimace.

"You love it, admit it. Now let's go!"

Sano and Kenshin looked a little shocked, but after an open mouthed stare they recovered and escorted the ladies the four blocks down to where the party was just starting to pick up steam. There were people walking in from the other direction and Sano waved at them. They were dressed as gladiators and immediately the boys all started showing off their cheap plastic weapons by fighting one another. Kenshin tried to hide behind Megumi out of shame for his costume.

"You big sissy. You know that every girl at the party will think you're the most adorable thing ever, so get some guts." Kaoru felt maybe she and Megumi had gone too far with dressing Kenshin up. At the same time, she did think he was adorable. But then, she would have thought him adorable regardless.

Abandoning the boys to their stupidity out in front, Megumi, Kaoru, and Kenshin walked on into the party. Grabbing some "punch", Megumi sat down and started to talk with some friends of hers from her science classes. Kenshin took refuge with some cooing girls and a few laughing psych majors, and Kaoru jealously made her way into the kitchen to try and find some water. She was a real lightweight and wanted to avoid drinking for a little while. She didn't even know who was throwing this party; it was more Sano and Megumi's circle of friends. Thankfully, in the kitchen being talked at by an already drunk Frankenstein's monster was Yahiko. Yahiko was a freshman psych major who Kenshin had mentored and he had been hanging out with all of them increasingly. He was nice, but got really intense if you asked him about his subjects of interest so Kaoru just tried to stay away from all that and have a nice time talking to him. He was quite relieved to be rescued from the fragmented conversation with the drunk.

"Kaoru! I didn't recognize you at first. How'd you manage to make yourself even more ugly?" he gave her a smile and a wink.

"You're horrible. I should leave right now, but it's nice to know that you barely recognized me."

"With all that makeup, yeah, you really look different. And the dress."

"Don't start."

"I can recognize an original Megumi when I see one, even though I've only known you all a couple months." He was dressed as a judge, probably because it took minimal effort and he got to carry a gavel.

As they chatted amiably, a pair of eyes followed Kaoru's movements with grim intensity. The target had been established. The plan would go smoothly. It made it that much more pleasant that she wasn't bad looking. Eyes wandered up and down the exposed leg in his vision. Yes, this would be fun after all.

"So do YOU know who lives here at all? I'm a little curious as to the nature of the hosts." Kaoru was a little curious, but mostly was just trying to make conversation with Yahiko. Some hair got in her eyes and she brushed it aside absently.

"Meh. I don't think it really matters. I hear it's some business people."

"I don't know any business majors."

"I'm surprised, haven't you changed your major three times already? And only a sophomore."

"HEY! I have not even declared yet so don't you be pointing fingers just yet." Kaoru wondered in her heart if she would ever find something that inspired her. Her father wasn't going to pressure her to be too decisive but he could only support her through her undergraduate work. He had enough money for that, and after that she was on her own entirely. It was kind of a scary prospect. Then again, maybe graduate school wasn't for her. She forced her attention back to Yahiko who was rambling on about something. Kaoru hoped he wouldn't ask her any questions.

Yahiko said he was going to go find Kenshin, and Kaoru gave him a big smile and waved him on. Really, she didn't want him to go, but she couldn't insist on it without seeming like she wasn't having a good time already. She wasn't, yet, but that could change. Moving towards what looked like the back porch, she noted a chair and sat down with a thunk. A glass of water later she watched the last bit of light be swallowed by the clear night and only then started to notice how cold it was, especially in contrast to how little she was wearing. Darn Megumi. She wasn't sexy, she was ridiculous. A black cape dropped on her lap as she stared at the horizon, shivering.

"I can never resist a damsel in distress." The smooth male voice came somewhere above her, and she looked up to find the unfamiliar speaker. The black cape on her lap was surprisingly thick and already her exposed legs felt a little warmer.

"Thank you." she searched for a name, or a face. The darkness and the backlighting of the party totally obscured him.

"Enishi. Nice to meet you."

"Kaoru Kamiya. I came with a friend of mine who knows people here. I'm afraid I don't really recognize many people." She saw some white hair in ruffled and spiked strands, messy in a way that implied order in the chaos. He pushed at some glasses before he sat down in the chair across from her. He appeared to be in a regular three piece suit, albeit a very nice one. "What are you supposed to be?"

He smiled a toothy grin. Indeed, the fitted vampire teeth seemed to suit him somehow, and contrasted wonderfully with the suit in its respectability. "I'm a lawyer, get it? Better than Dracula, and I look a lot less ridiculous. At least I already owned the suit."

Kaoru gave a little laugh as she wrapped the cape around her. "My roommate foiled my attempts to be something as mundane as a witch. Looking like this was certainly not my idea."

"I think you look good." The statement was flat and direct. If anyone could be completely neutral, Kaoru got the feeling he could be. All the same she blushed anyway, and was suddenly very glad of the dark. Maybe she wouldn't curse Megumi so much in the future.

"So do you know who lives here?"

"Yes." A brief silent patch followed. Kaoru realized he wasn't going to continue with a sense of mild confusion.

"Who lives here?"

"I do, for one. But it's my housemates who are throwing the party. They thought it would be a fun way to celebrate the end of midterms. I think celebrating something so miniscule is pointless." He was still using the neutral tone.

Trying to not let the conversation die too badly, Kaoru tried to change the subject. "So are you a business major?"

"I suppose. I'm just shuffling through until I can get to law school. I'm going through as fast as possible."

"Oh?"

"I started out last year as a freshman, this year I'm a junior. If I prolong things I might double major but I'm not sure yet." Kaoru suddenly felt very inferior and lazy at that.

"Let's go inside, even your cape can't prevent the traitorous piece of clothing I dare call a dress from making me cold." He rose and offered his hand to her as she attempted to rise with a minimum of grace. A blush rose to her cheeks again. She wasn't used to this sort of behavior except for the door opening that Kenshin engaged in, but that was for everyone and not a sign of particular favor. Thinking of Kenshin she started to feel a bit guilty. Unsure as to why, she pushed the feeling away.

As they walked into the glowing light of the kitchen, Kaoru tried to get a better look at her conversational companion. Intense, slightly slanted eyes an improbable shade of light blue green set off his white gray hair. Nothing about him was particularly masculine, that she could tell, but nothing suggested that this person ever could be feminine either. There was an air of quiet control and he seemed perfectly at home in his surroundings. Alpha male, if she could have described him in two words, that would have done it. The earring in his left ear bobbled just a little as he turned to her and pushed his glasses up his nose with one finger. It was so unfair a man could be that attractive.

"Yes?" His voice alerted her to the fact that she was staring at him.

"Is your hair really that color?" As soon as she said it she felt stupid. What a terribly horrid thing to basically go right out and admit she had been checking him out.

For a moment the corner of his mouth seemed to twitch, like he was going to smile and then didn't at the last minute. "Honestly, yes, it is. I started to go gray a couple years ago. It was like this by last year. Amazing really, no one can explain it since my father only had a few stately streaks. I'm told it doesn't look all that bad."

"Oh no, it's quite handsome." Kaoru was having one of those moments where she just wanted to slap herself over and over. She felt she couldn't sound less intelligent if she tried. If fainting in relief were the fashion she would have when music started up in the main rooms and distracted their attentions for a second. At least it was enough to break the tension. Kaoru examined her confusion a moment. why was there tension? Something didn't seem right. She wished she could put her finger on it. The strand of hair she had been brushing back all evening fell in her face again, but before she could push it back Enishi did it for her. His hand brushed her cheek and she shivered. If only she were cold.

Kenshin leapt up in her mind and her eyes grew large. Kenshin, she had to find Kenshin. Kenshin was safe, and familiar, and everything Enishi was not right at that moment.

"Excuse me, I better check on my friends before they think I've left on my own." She gave Enishi a brilliant smile, but her eyes betrayed her swirling emotions and hormones.

"I'm sure I'll catch you later," Enishi said in parting as she turned away. "And I mean that." He murmured in his mind.


	2. Chapter 2

Kenshin was, naturally, still surrounded by women and making quiet conversation. He did look adorable, with his red hair beginning to come out of its curls, and his violet eyes wide and innocent looking. The very sight of him helped Kaoru immensely. This was something she was familiar with. The same glowing warmth that filled her with a fondness dispelled the jolt she had just received from Enishi's company. Gently making some room beside Kenshin, she listened to him continue to describe his problems arranging a room for his thesis presentation. Even though it was not that interesting, somehow he made it comical with him in the center as a bumbling fool who somehow managed to make it all turn out all right. Kaoru knew what really went on, for behind Kenshin's easygoing exterior he really got things done. That's why he was one of the top in his class, destined for honors in his department, and had a good fellowship lined up for postgraduate work. She expected nothing less from the soft man with the sharp mind.

His very perfection filled Kaoru with despair even as she admired it. It just set him that much more out of her reach, no matter what Megumi said. He had everything going for him, and she was just a mediocre sophomore who didn't know where she was going in life. Something inside of her screamed to leave the party right then just so she could get away from everything. What she really wanted was to go and practice her sword katas. Martial arts were a soothing way to pass the time. Even that was not impressive compared to Kenshin, who had been fencing since he was in middle school. Nothing she could do would ever compare to what he'd already done. She got up to go.

"Where are you going Kaoru?" Kenshin gave her a brilliant smile. Always so nice and friendly. She sighed.

"I'm going to see what Megumi's doing." She felt like she should make up a better excuse, or at least elaborate on it, but she didn't feel like it. She had already driven herself into a nice blue funk.

"Oh, ok." He picked up his drink and continued talking amiably with the girls. Kaoru tried not to think of how easily he dismissed her. And she hadn't even drunk anything yet. Maybe she would now. She felt like she needed something. At the same time, the kitchen held Enishi most likely, and she wasn't sure she wanted to be drunk around him. It was a no win sort of moment. In the end she really did end up going to find Megumi. Megumi was in some sort of drinking game, where one person had to name all the parts of the brain, take a shot, name it again, take a shot, and so on until someone slipped up or passed out. It was amusing enough for a little while, but Megumi was clearly going to win as she was intense about her anatomy knowledge. Sano was cheering her on of course, as he was in favor of his buttoned down girlfriend engaging in any sort of irresponsible behavior. He looked fairly rosy cheeked himself. And they had only been there an hour or two. it couldn't have been later than 10:30 or so. With a sort of resignation, she walked into the kitchen. Bottles littered the place, and there was a sort of slurry of some sort in a tub. Opting to avoid both, Kaoru again went for water. She felt very boring.

"Not enjoying our hospitality?" She knew that voice. It was possible she would never forget that voice. A shiver went down her spine, the door to the kitchen must have opened.

"Well, I must say things are very lively and. erm. no not really. I never really know what to do at these sort of parties."

"Dance, get drunk, act stupid. Not in any particular order of course. You might as well, because when we're older we won't have any excuse for behavior like this except during the winter holidays." Enishi handed her an unopened wine cooler.

"Erm. I feel I ought to tell you, I'm a terrible lightweight. I think I'd be just as well with water." Normally she would have just taken the drink. Something about him just screamed sinister. Maybe her nervousness stemmed from an inherent distrust for lawyers. She smiled at her own internal joke. Enishi raised an eyebrow, and Kaoru realized he was just standing there in front of her waiting for her to speak again. "But thank you anyway."

"You're right though. This party is unappealing right now." He swept off his cape and threw it in a corner. "Come have some coffee with me. If we aren't going to drink like college students, we might as well do something pretentious."

Kaoru wondered if accepting this offer was such a good idea. On the one hand she didn't know him and hence had no idea if he was a decent person from the chain of gossip, on the other hand time spent with him alone seemed terribly appealing. For once she opted for danger, but she would make sure to temper it.

"Ok." She pulled off her wig, showing hair that was wrapped up in a bun. "But you let me go home first and change out of this grotesque outfit. I know a good place a few blocks away. It isn't even a chain yet." Familiar surroundings, more tame clothing, both were key to her feeling better about going out with a total stranger.

"I will await you at your leisure. I'm not exactly going anywhere." Something about what she just said made him smile. Unlike before, when it had seemed odd on him, this smile seemed to touch his eyes and make them narrow just a little bit. Kaoru gave him a cheerful look, mostly due to the fact that soon she wouldn't be so uncomfortable anymore, at least not from clothing. Enishi watched as she ran out the front door. Pushing at his glasses he saw Kenshin eye her as she ran out, an intent look on his face. Megumi and Sano were too far gone to be aware of anything, but he didn't really care about them anyway. The girl was the key. Tomoe would have her last say, with his help, and finally he'd have some peace.

*

Kaoru sipped her tea and tried not to fidget. The smooth liquid was not likely to calm her nerves. He hadn't changed out of his suit, and also hadn't taken the teeth out and when she had arrived he met her outside the front door. Unconsciously, she hoped, she had chosen an outfit that matched him. A skirt in this weather was ridiculous. Especially a short skirt. What was she thinking? The scarf and thin jacket did not make up for much when her legs were freezing. As she watched Enishi order at the counter, she thought of how he had recognized her immediately even though she looked terribly different from her costume. Maybe he was just really observant. She sighed and took down her hair from the bun she had hurriedly assembled as she left the house. He was already coming over this way. Oh good lord. She felt like she had dropped about fifty IQ points. Something inside her prayed he wouldn't ask her a question because all she might do is drool. Not that he didn't deserve to be drooled over, but she wanted it to remain a figure or speech.

"This place is very, hmmm. I can't think of what to call it." Enishi poured some cream into his coffee and stirred it absently.

"Stereotypical?" Kaoru liked it here. There were people reading in one corner, and there was a guy with a laptop typing franticly a table away from them. The students serving the coffee looked appropriately bored and snotty. It almost screamed beatnik and yet upper middle class at the same time. She wouldn't have had it any other way.

"Now that you mention it." Enishi took off his coat and lounged in the chair in a way that made Kaoru's stiff and nervous posture all the more obvious. "You don't have to be afraid of me you know."

"What are you talking about?" Kaoru looked cross. "I'm not afraid of anything, I'll have you know. Just try me."

"Snakes?"

"Love them."

"Spiders, needles, heights, enclosed spaces, ducks, crowds, death, or sickness?"

"No, no. ducks?" Kaoru gave a little laugh, and took a sip of tea. It felt good. She relaxed her posture just a little. This was not an inquisition, it was just coffee. Her knee brushed the side of his leg, she stiffened again.

"How can I convince you that I am not out to molest you? Seriously, I'm not going to even get within a foot of you without your permission. I don't understand why you're so jumpy." Actually he had a pretty good idea. He was flattered that she found him so attractive, she was not so bad herself. In fact, the glimpse of leg and body he had gotten earlier thanks to her infamous dress was very appealing to him. Not that this would be the time to tell her that. He had to try and appear harmless. All he had to do was think like Himura. his eye twitched. No, thinking of him might not be a good idea.

"I just, I mean I'm not presuming this is a date, but you are an unfamiliar and attractive man and you did offer to spend time with me alone. I just don't have much frame of reference, I don't go out a lot unless it's with my friends." She hadn't meant to be that direct, damn.

He raised one eyebrow. "I would like it if you did consider this a date. Although I've already been remiss and let you pay for your drink. I'll make it up to you next time."

Now it was Kaoru's turn to raise an eyebrow. "Next time?"

"I was thinking tomorrow night, if you're not busy." Kaoru thought about all the nothing she usually did on weekend nights. A date with Enishi shot so far ahead of that she felt it would be best that she didn't gush in happiness.

"Sure. I have practice, but anytime after six or seven should be fine."

"Practice?"

"I'm a student of Kamiya Kasshin Ryu. I've been doing it since I was nine. I used to practice every day, but since college started I've cut down to every Sunday."

"I do a little sword work myself, maybe we could spar sometime." Something about Enishi just screamed that everything he did he did well. Kaoru wasn't about to leap on that offer unless she was in a mood for punishment. Not that she'd admit that to him.

The evening progressed much better after things were a little less ambiguous. Enishi knew so much about a lot of things that conversation never dulled. Kaoru had a battery of knowledge about film and media, because she was just in love with modern things. The only weakness in Enishi's knowledge base that Kaoru felt she could one up him in was all based in film and stage information and trivia. He never went to movies or plays, mostly because he didn't have time. Otherwise, talking to him was a daunting affair. It was just like when she tried to talk to Kenshin. and the name stabbed through her heart making it bleed like someone had slashed it with incredible speed and accuracy. The evening kind of mellowed once Kenshin had asserted his psychic presence in Kaoru's mind. She had spent so much time being in love with Kenshin, and this almost felt like she was cheating on him. It was a confusing moment.

Against her better judgment, Kaoru allowed Enishi to walk her home. It must have been 3 or 4 in the morning, but she barely felt tired. There was fog all over, and it only made her that much colder. Stupid skirt. Even though she was doing her best to hide her shivering, when Enishi's coat was suddenly thrown around her shoulders she wasn't all that surprised. What did a guy like this see in her? The stray question wandered through her brain and she tried to kill it viciously. So far as she was concerned, her house was much too close and the walk ended much too soon. As she stood in the doorway and got out her keys, they finished up their conversation. Silence, only broken by the jangle of keys, made them both pause. Kaoru's face got very red. Now would be the time if she were going to.

"I." was all she got out before Enishi's lips met hers. Or rather his mouth met hers as the action of forming a word had opened her up for more than just a chaste kiss. His hands were on either side of her face, warm in contrast to her cold skin. He had broken his word not to touch her without her permission, but as she was just about to give permission she was willing to let it slide. That's about where her mental faculties stopped.

He was just going to give her a kiss on the hand, or maybe a peck on the cheek, but some rogue impulse had led to this. The way he kissed her, he practically devoured her. It was new to feel this kind of passion outside of anger. It was intoxicating. His hands moved into her hair a little bit, and Kaoru groaned and pressed against him. The fog surrounded them giving the illusion of privacy and both reasonably reserved people let go and accepted this unexpected new passion. Enishi's mouth moved down to Kaoru's throat and she leaned back against the door to support her failing legs from collapsing out from under her.

Suddenly Enishi pulled away from her as if she had stung him. It took Kaoru a moment to recover and face him again with a semblance of wit. Her hand went to her throat on some sort of instinct and Enishi visibly winced as he noticed the growing red mark developing on her pale skin. He hoped she'd have the good sense to hide it. If things moved too fast it would mess everything up. The urge was almost irresistible to curse or walk away. or continue on where they had just left off, but he ignored the urgent protestations of his body and composed himself. The moment of danger passed and he faced Kaoru, hoping that she was not too put off by what just happened between them. Once he had discerned that she was fine, maybe even desirous of continuing, he knew he HAD to leave or else jeopardize everything.

"I've had a lovely time with you Kaoru, I'll come by tomorrow some time. Maybe seven?"

"Sounds fine." Kaoru would have been perfectly happy to end the evening at that moment, but fate had nothing so kind in mind for her.

"And I-I-I eeee ayyyeee, will always looove yoooouuuu." The off key and quite loud, obviously drunk voice of a happy Sano filtered through the fog.

"I said, shut up! Help me get this ass inside." Megumi sounded like she had the leading edge of a hangover, or at least was coming down from any buzz she had achieved.

"But he's really tall, Megumi, and I am most certainly not." That was Yahiko. The alarm that had triggered Kaoru to almost start running relaxed. It wasn't Kenshin, and so maybe he wasn't there with them. That's all she could hope for. While Kaoru was distracted Enishi stepped up, hugged her, and then looked as if he were about to kiss her when he shook his head as if to clear it.

"Tomorrow, then." he whispered into her ear before disappearing in the opposite direction of the voices. Megumi and Yahiko appeared not long after with Sano draped over them. Megumi raised an eyebrow at the fact that Kaoru was just getting in, but was more concerned with her nearly passed out boyfriend to do more than give her a look that screamed Kaoru would have some explaining to do about what happened when she left the party. Entering the house, Kaoru scrounged up a blanket and pillow for Yahiko who looked too tired to make his way back to his dorm room. By the time she got to sleep she was too tired to think about anything and simply changed and crashed down on her bed.

*

When Kaoru finally awoke she felt groggy and pasty. It was like something particularly foul had died in her mouth the night before, and then she realized it was because she hadn't brushed her teeth before going to bed previously. Looking at the clock, she realized it was noon or so and she felt a little guilty for not being up earlier. There was no reason to feel guilty about it, she just did. Getting dresses in a loose robe and pants and binding down her chest, she felt a sense of continuity. Her hair bound into a tight ponytail and streaming down her back, Kaoru grabbed her wooden practice sword and felt how it had been polished and then worn down as she had used it over the years. Not frayed exactly, but then again it was beginning to splinter just a little bit. It was as if she could have stepped out of a time long ago and still looked and felt exactly the same as she did now. That's why she loved Sunday.

The feel of the wood and the cloth just reinforced the need for stability she had suddenly sprung. Up until last night things had been very definite. There were classes, but she didn't have to be decided about them because she wouldn't have to declare a major for a while. School never really bothered her as a whole anyway. She got decent grades, although not stellar ones. Then there was her social life, and that was a little more complicated, but not too much more. She walked into the training facility in the gym, grateful as always that she went to a school large enough to warrant a pretty good gym complex. As she sat on the ground she began to stretch her stiff muscles and warm them up.

The whole issue of a social life had not been something she had actively sought. Megumi and she had been roommates in the dorms their freshman year and had become pretty good friends. The people Megumi knew became Kaoru's social group and they had taken a liking to her well enough to know that it wasn't just by Megumi that she had company when she needed it. Mainly there had been various science people at first, but Sano had added a new dimension to everything. The most dramatic addition, of course, had been Kenshin. Kenshin Himura was everything that Kaoru had idolized: smart, sweet, attentive, and caring. His temper was even and his performance in everything he did was exemplary. He's also darned attractive. Kaoru quieted the part of her mind that wanted to jump the gorgeous red haired man. Part of the problem was that Kenshin was so asexual in many ways. There was never any woman, or man, that he was interested in and he never participated in discussions on sexuality. It had taken almost the first three months of knowing him to be able to figure out if he was straight or not, and sometimes she still wondered. Maybe he was just not interested in anything like that, like he lacked hormones or some other chemical problem. Then it wouldn't be Kaoru's fault that he didn't like her. At that thought she felt she needed to thwack something, and jumped up to grab her wooden practice sword to do just that.

In some ways it was more comforting that he preferred no woman at all, because then Kaoru could assume it wasn't just her that he didn't want. If he ended up with no one, then it was fine by her. Yet, whenever she saw him laughing and smiling in his usual way with other girls she wanted to scratch their eyes out. Something inside of her had attached itself to him and wanted to make him hers like the basest territorial animal. She brought the sword down so hard on the side of the target that her hands jarred painfully. Keeping these feelings inside and hidden from the world was a very important goal for her. If Kenshin knew, and he was a sharp guy so she sometimes thought he might, and just chose to do nothing about it then she could live with that. Things on the surface were fine. The possibility that he didn't know and that by knowing it might cause him to consider her in that light was enough to be the real angst in her life. Pining for Kenshin was almost fun in its own way. It gave Kaoru something to focus her emotions on. If Kenshin weren't around then she probably wouldn't have any direction in which to focus her emotions and that combined with her directionless academic life would have been enough to depress her.

Now Enishi had appeared and everything was confused again. There was the unfulfilling and yet comfortable situation surrounding Kenshin, wherein she could admire him and wish for him but never had to face anything that was close to reality but nothing ever happened. Her relationship with Kenshin was static. Enishi represented everything Kenshin did not and promised so much more. The way he worked and talked, from the one day she had observed him in, gave her the idea that this man was not, well, wishy washy. It was an incomplete way to describe him, but he appeared to take whatever he wanted without much trouble. In some ways he reminded Kaoru of her father. Not that Enishi was like her father, but in that aspect of taking what he wanted aggressively there was definite similarity. Her father was cold, distant, and only vaguely concerned with what Kaoru did. Ever since her mother had died when Kaoru was seven he had withdrawn emotionally from their small family unit. Kaoru hoped that maybe somewhere in his heart he loved her, but she couldn't be entirely certain. For all intents and purposes her father's love had died with his wife.

Martial arts had filled the void at first in her need for people and interaction, but then slowly Kaoru had begun to rely on herself. She felt complete enough to be comfortable with the idea of living alone and being alone someday soon. That's part of why there was no real urgency in her adoration of Kenshin. Kenshin's warmth, a very different attitude than the one she had grown up knowing from her father, was a large part of his attraction. It was a complex issue. She decided not to think about it any more. It was better to look ahead and be happy with what the day presented. She had a date in a few hours and she wanted to be feeling good. Sweat formed on her brow as her thinking ceased having direction and she concentrated on her movements.

*

Enishi only slept five or six hours. It was about how much he ever slept. There was no real point, since sleep was wasted time anyway. Often he had lamented about how weak the body was for needing so much rest. He listed in his head the things he had to do before he saw Kaoru. Maybe making reservations for a restaurant would be wise; if he wanted to go anywhere nice at night then it was necessary. The thought of going out with this Kaoru Kamiya girl pleased him a lot but also worried him. It was almost as if he wished things were different somehow. But that was ridiculous, he had spent years nurturing his need for revenge and Kaoru was the perfect tool for it.

It had been three years ago or so since he had lost Tomoe to Himura. That foul assassin had murdered her, and now she was gone. his beautiful gentle sister.

His father, a corporate lawyer, and his mother, a well to do society blueblood, had both encouraged Tomoe not to attend a no name college when she had graduated high school. But Tomoe didn't want the sort of life that she had been brought up with anymore and she wanted to try to branch out on her own. Enishi had not been surprised and even encouraged what his sister wanted because it would make her happy. Escaping home and her family's powerful influence is what was really on her mind. Between their father's harsh demanding nature, coupled with his violent temper and cold need for efficiency and a perfect outward image, and their mother's calm and benevolent indifference life had been something like hell both for Tomoe and for Enishi. At least Enishi received some preferential treatment based on the fact that he was expected to follow in his father's path. Everything was ready already, as the spot in the firm was guaranteed. The connections had been laid out years ago and Enishi knew what sort of circles to circulate in. He had been all set for the Ivy League until Tomoe died.

It didn't matter that it was an accident. Words like car crash, and terrible tragedy did not bring Tomoe back. It was when he had learned it was her boyfriend who had been driving that night, who crashed the car on their snow camping trip, and who allowed her to freeze to death that he had been filled with a new goal other than what his father had groomed him for. Tomoe had been the only one to love him and show him the kind of compassion and warmth that was entirely missing from all other parts of his life. His heart had died along with her. There was nothing left. He had refused to go to school for two weeks after the accident. In that time he did a lot of thinking. The first week he had sunk into a deep depression. Barely eating, hardly sleeping, he wandered through the house in a haze of sadness. No one approached him after a butler sent by his father to make Enishi go to school was severely beaten by the mentally and emotionally unstable young man. The second week was when the hatred had set in for her killer. In that moment he decided that he would track down this man and then destroy him. He would gain control of every part of Himura's life and then squish him like a bug. It was a glorious feeling, this icy burning hatred, and Enishi laughed in pure happiness when he decided on this goal. That night he ate a big dinner and then the next week he proceeded to not only make up all the work in his classes but rise to be the premier student in his elite and competitive high school. He kept it up until he had to graduate and preceded to shock people by telling them he was going to the same school his sister was.

His father had forbade him to, of course, but then Enishi made it very clear that he would graduate a year and a half early this way and then could go to whatever graduate program his father wanted if he could just do this his way. Still leery of his son's decision, his father approved it once Enishi also made it clear that anything else would result in Enishi walking away and not coming back to the family. So here he was, and already it had been a year and he had not had the opportunity to enact his revenge. Then he had been struck with an idea. To use Himura's friends was ideal. He was so sappy and big hearted that he would come to save them in a second if something was wrong. That was weakness. More important, it was useable.

Kaoru was perfect. He seemed to have some sort of attachment to her, but who knows how deep it was. Kaoru herself made the job that much more fun by being such an attractive package. She was interesting enough and fairly carefree. There was less ambition in her than the other girls he had gone out with, and her laid back attitude was a bit of an anomaly to him. Usually he thought people like that would simply not be effective and hence were of no use to him, but in Kaoru it just seemed to soften edges in her that would otherwise he too hard and unbending. Nothing about her could really be considered soft. maybe firm was about right.

It was a bad way for his thoughts to go. He hadn't really planned to do more than use her for his purposes, but he found himself actually looking forward to seeing her. Part of it was because she was amusing and new, but a part of it was because he was curious as to how someone like her could make him lose control. He'd been out with prettier women, sexier and more sensual women who knew what they wanted and how to get it. They played games, just as he did, and he was ready for that. On many levels he found it fun to try to outmaneuver them. Kaoru threw off his rhythm somehow. There was no guile; there was no calm deceit. She wanted what she said she did and there was no hidden meaning. Anything she didn't say he felt he could guess from her expressive way of thinking to herself. Her eyes especially gave her away, and the way she bit the corner of her lip when she was thinking about something to say he felt was quite. adorable? The word had just popped into his mind. He shoved it aside and forgot about it.

A vague uncertainty flowed through him as he tried to pin down what it was that made his body react to her in a way that no woman had ever managed before to extract from him. She radiated health and life, and the love she had for her friends seemed to be so transparently displayed. He had been observing her for a little while now, planning out what exactly he should do to trap Kenshin using her. The party had been a convenient time to introduce himself, but he was going to do so soon anyway. Sometimes he thought a little bit about his sister when he saw her, and not in the usual manner that led to his hate of Himura. These thoughts were soft, likening a gesture of Kaoru's to one of Tomoe's. When Kaoru was still and reposed she really resembled the tranquil Tomoe, but then she would start arguing with Sano or submitting to Megumi's schemes and the resemblance would fade.

It all pointed to the fact that there was something about Kaoru. He didn't know what exactly, but there was something special. He went to go find a phone book to make that reservation.


	3. Chapter 3

Kaoru was making her way through the gym complex when, as she was passing one room, she got a glimpse of long red hair. Only one boy had hair that distinctive shade, and of course she felt pulled to go and say hello. It was worse than a need to talk to him. The guilt she felt at going on a date was easily defined by the fact that she loved him but that he was not the one in any sort of romantic situation with her. She was willing to admit that to herself freely enough. Taking down and retying her messy and still slightly sweat dampened hair; she hoped she looked somewhat presentable. Silently entering the training area she saw several other people practicing. For a long time she had known that Kenshin fenced, but this was the first time she had seen him do it. As always, and in a completely expected way, she felt inferior to his talent. The foil moved around and in so fast she had trouble following it, though his partner was doing a decent enough job. The hair she had seen earlier was running down his back out of the protective headgear in contrast to the white cloth. The difference in skill was not readily apparent to Kaoru. The men moved with such grace, and nothing they did really gave the other any trouble. However, it could not go on indefinitely and it didn't take long until Kenshin feinted back and then did something, later Kaoru described it as it looking like he struck from every angle at once, and the match was over.

Both men removed to an area further back and other people stepped in to take their places in the area. They took off their helmets, and Kenshin also began to remove other superfluous articles. She made her way over to congratulate both men on their match. Kenshin waved her over, and Kaoru wondered if he had seen her when he was fighting. Practice sword slung onto her shoulder, she felt nervous because of how out of place her look and fighting style were here. Her raw power and slower movements would be easy to beat compared to the speed and precision this sport offered. She simply should not compare two very different styles. Kenshin drew her into a hug and Kaoru stiffened a little bit before softening, as the action was wholly unexpected. He must be on an adrenaline high from the fight, she thought.

"Kaoru! What a surprise, I never thought I'd see you here. A friend of mine came to visit and we couldn't resist giving a shot at some matches. Oh, yes, let me introduce you. Kaoru Kamiya meet Hajime Saitou." Kenshin face was red with exertion, but happy as ever.

"Pleasure." Saitou's sour expression gave his words a sarcastic edge.

"Nice to meet you." Kaoru felt odd as both men became quiet and looked at her. "Your match was amazing. I don't know a lot about fencing, but I can at least tell the difference between you and the other people here. How long have you been doing this?"

"Saitou and I go way back. I've known him since my high school days when we were both in fencing classes. Our teacher was very intense and I still remember how hard I worked to try to win against him. What a strange man. If I remember he had a bit of a drinking problem too." Kenshin was being unusually talkative; it was nice to experience.

"We surpassed his talent long ago. Talking about him is a waste of time. You're too sentimental Himura." Saitou seemed like a very down sort of person and Kaoru felt like she didn't particularly want to keep talking to him. Gold eyes and black hair that fell in strands about his face only heightened his disaffected air. What startling eyes they were. It was just another odd friend for Kenshin. He seemed to collect them.

"Has he always been this serious?" Kaoru said to Kenshin in a stage whisper.

"Since before he was born I imagine." Kenshin answered with a smile. Saitou arched an eyebrow and ignored them both.

"I'm going to get changed. I'll be out in a moment. Good meeting you Miss Kamiya." Saitou nodded in her direction and then made his way towards the locker room.

"So what are you up to today Kaoru? You left the party rather early last night." So he did notice. "I'm sorry it wasn't all that fun for you. I know you didn't know as many people there."

"It all turned out ok. I had some people to talk to." Why was she skirting the subject? Shouldn't she be happy to tell him about her good fortune?

"Well, Saitou and I are going to hang out today, maybe go to a movie or something. I was going to go see if people wanted to come with, but I'm pretty sure the majority of them are nursing a hangover. What about it?" A day. A day spent with Kenshin and his friend. He was unusually happy and talkative. Everything she had been hoping for, but for once she was not able to go. Kicking herself mentally, she put on a smile in a slightly forced way.

"I'm sorry Kenshin, but I can't." He looked disappointed. Damn it all.

"Why is that Kaoru?" She knew that this was going to happen, but she had thought she'd be able to keep it from him for a little longer. Might as well jump on in. He was one of her best friends after all.

"I'm going on a date in a couple hours." Something froze in Kaoru, or maybe it was the mood between them. She couldn't put her finger on it because she swore her heart was beating fast enough to kill her. So much stress. All the practicing she had used to warm up was useless as she went into a cold sweat. Kenshin's expression flickered for a moment, but Kaoru didn't notice it. The smile never faltered on his face.

"Have a great time! And tell me all about it when you get back tonight. I hope he's nice to you. if he's not then Sano and I would be glad to take care of him for you." Kenshin gave her a surprisingly tight hug. "I have to get going too. Saitou tends to just leave if he waits for too long." They waved at one another and Kaoru made her way home as Kenshin met Saitou in the locker room.

Saitou was surprised to see Kenshin looking so serious. Often he had that amiable and absent smile on his face. Frankly it was fake and annoying to Saitou who knew that that was just a projection of a person who was not Kenshin. Saitou hated seeing people pretend to be what they weren't. That Kamiya girl was odd. He didn't see any falsity in her. There was her obvious adoration for Himura that she attempted to hide, but that was minor. What she presented to people was what she was. It wasn't a wise idea, but it was admirable to some extent. It was appropriate that such an innocent and Himura were together. He was tying his combat boots as Kenshin walked in.

"Is the girl coming with us?" Saitou knew that Kenshin was the type to invite her, not that he minded, because if Tokio had been free today. he shoved down the thought of her as weakness. Kenshin looked visibly deflated, so something was wrong. "What? Did you two have a fight or something?"

"She's busy." Hmm. Busy meant another person. She was either going on a date or she was spending time with a different friend. Himura wouldn't be this moody about her being with a friend.

"You always move too slow Himura." Saitou was unsurprised to find Kenshin whip around with a dangerous look in his eyes. The gleam was almost predatory. It was the look he got when fighting intensely and Saitou decided it was best not to press the issue any more. It was almost fun seeing the calm little man in a rage, but it unwise to push his luck. Striding out to get a soda from the vending machine, he wondered if things would have been this difficult for Kenshin before Tomoe. But he wasn't going to bring up Tomoe. He actually wanted to have a good day.

*

He arrived looking devilishly charming in a short-sleeved shirt and a black tie, with loose pants rather like those little old men wear. Only Enishi was no little old man. He stood on her porch a moment as she tried not to stare at him. When he arched an eyebrow Kaoru came to and invited him inside while she found a coat. Honestly, she didn't know why he wasn't freezing, but somehow it seemed like something she should not be surprised about. He pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose and looked around in a critical manner, as if memorizing everything about her living space and evaluating it as well. Kaoru hoped she was up to his standards, and tried to shove aside the voice that angrily asserted she should have cleaned up a little. Mostly she succeeded. Flattening out her plaid skirt, she took out a long coat so that maybe her legs would be just that much less cold. If he had just been a minute or two more she would have been out front and ready to meet him so that they could avoid.

"Hello, I don't believe we've been introduced." Megumi. Naturally. Kaoru stifled a groan.

"Enishi Yukishiro. It's a pleasure." Kaoru was amazed that he could sound both sincere and sarcastic at the same time.

"Megumi Takani. Kaoru hasn't mentioned you before." Megumi gave a sly smile. "How long have you known one another." Kaoru stifled the instinct to shut her up and run away.

"I believe we've had the pleasure of knowing one another for about a day." Enishi liked this girl, he had observed her before and he liked her ruthlessness. She was just like all the women who had been in his life, excluding Tomoe. Being on familiar ground eased his nerves around Kaoru.

"It's already dark and I'd like some dinner, so if you'll excuse us Megumi." Kaoru broke the disturbingly intent stare each had on the other. Although having the force of their glares focused on her was uncomfortable, it was still better than prolonging things. Megumi sure was never going to let her get away tonight until all details had been disclosed. Kaoru sighed.

"You kids have fun then. Good meeting you."

"Likewise." Enishi possessively put an arm about Kaoru's shoulders for Megumi's benefit as they left. Kaoru tensed perceptibly but did not push him away. "My car is just a little ways away. I hope you enjoy where we're going for dinner. I hear they are better than decent." Three stars, very expensive but not too posh, not that he was going to tell her that.

His car was sleek, black, and expensive looking. Kaoru didn't know much if anything about cars, but she was sure that it cost more than her life was worth to own something like this. Without a word he opened the door for her and she stepped into the cold and sterile environment. How could a car be this clean? It was shocking after Sano's death trap bucket of a car covered in old garbage and dust. Somehow that car felt better than this one did though, and Kaoru thought maybe because this thing felt like a piece of industrial equipment. It was a little better when he turned it on and things lit up. The heat was nice too, though her cheeks were red with a blush that refused to remove itself since she had left the house. The drive also took place in silence, but it was not wholly uncomfortable. Kaoru didn't really have anything to say and didn't know how to start casual conversations. Enishi, who had been prepared for the usual array of light conversation that his ladies subjected him to, turned on some music to fill the gap. After he turned it on Kaoru fiddled with the stations, found something she liked, sang along for a little bit, changed it again, and sat back only to repeat the process when commercials came on. There she went with that whole. adorable business again. It was unreasonable; he should have found it annoying. They reached the restaurant and were quickly seated. They decided fairly fast as well and then Kaoru finally felt real pressure to start talking.

"So what's it like, being a business major? I think that maybe it's the one kind of class I haven't taken.. Or did I take it?" She couldn't remember. Semester? Classes? What were classes? Her nervousness manifested in general panic.

"It's dull. I'll be glad to finish undergrad work. When I finally get to law school maybe things will get challenging. Maybe. It's the family business after all, I've been preparing for it for years." Being honest and straightforward? What was wrong with him? He needed to put her at ease again. "You look terribly pretty. I must admit I don't enjoy company as nice as yours very often. People in my house tend to be focused on studying and partying." That appeared to help a bit.

"Thanks. I don't meet new people very often. I admit, I'm pretty nervous right now." She paused a moment, glad to have gotten it out. "Family business?"

"My father's a corporate lawyer. I will be too, in time." He smiled, but his eyes were glassy as he said it.

"I think you'd be terribly good at it. But did you ever want to be anything else?"

"No." There was no room for argument with his father.

"See, I couldn't do that. I've wanted to be so many things and then decided against it that in the end I probably won't be anything. Maybe I should just be a wandering vagabond." Kaoru gave a little laugh. "Roaming the country with just a car and some clothes. It's a funny picture, I think. Too bad it's not very realistic." Both of them had a mental image of her as a vagrant and somehow it seemed to Enishi she could do that just as well as being a society woman. Why couldn't he classify her?

"Doesn't your family have any particular line of work it specializes in?" Enishi was glad the topic was shifting away from his family and himself.

"My father sold his corporate soul. I never asked him what he did, I just know he's an executive somewhere in Seattle." Kaoru didn't look nervous anymore, but there were something odd about the way she was speaking.

"Whom does he work for?"

"I told you I don't know." Her reply was slow and she was looking off in the distance at something. He needed to get off of this line of questioning before she became emotionally inaccessible.

"Last week my Professor told us an amusing story." So she didn't want to talk about her family either. Interesting. Not that it was important. Enishi just worked as hard as he could at amusing her until the food arrived. Even though he had never been good at telling jokes she still laughed at his flat delivery. Maybe she just appreciated the attempts, but when she laughed her eyes crinkled just a little at the corners. She's an honestly happy person. The concept seemed a little odd to Enishi. He would never say he was unhappy before Tomoe died, but he did not live like this girl did. It was almost a shame what he was going to do to her. But there was no room for regrets in revenge.

They ate, paid, left, and climbed back into his car with a vague feeling of expectation. It was very dark out, and cold but clear so that the stars were pretty bright. He had an impulse to take her somewhere else, and it came to him in a flash that he'd like to show her a place he found not long ago. Kaoru fiddled with the radio again, full and not really paying attention to the where they were going. But when she noticed that they were going not only steeply uphill but also in the opposite direction from home, she got a little curious. If it were Megumi, she would be demanding to know where we were going and why. I probably should. I mean, I don't really know him, but he's not the kind that would take me somewhere secluded to so something. inappropriate. she refused to define what inappropriate would entail. However, she was getting increasingly alarmed. She looked at Enishi's intent expression. I can't even tell if he's happy or excited. He's worse to read than Kenshin. It was a mistake to think of Kenshin. She wondered what he was doing and how his day with Saitou went. Telling him about her date had been a mistake. Oh gosh, the car was stopping. There were trees and shrubs and most definitely no people around. Urp. Enishi got out and opened the door for her.

"I want to show you something." He motioned for her to follow and led the way through the trees. After a minute or two they got to a clearing next to the side of a very steep hill. It overlooked a goodly portion of some of the suburbs and the glinting lights complemented the stars fairly nicely, albeit being more orange. It was pretty though, and Enishi just looked out over everything without moving towards her or saying anything. Kaoru felt silly at being so worried. He wasn't like that, and she trusted her instinct that said he wasn't going to hurt her. After a few minutes he began to walk back. They hadn't talked, but it had been a nice moment. Once back in the car, Enishi was unsure of what to do. It was only around 10 pm or so and it wasn't as if there weren't other things available. Kaoru, who was glad that he had been willing to share something with her, even if she didn't know what significance it held, decided that she wanted to not go home yet. Being with Enishi was what she wanted more than anything at that moment in time.

"Let's go play pool." Kaoru's voice seemed loud in the silent car.

"What?"

"I want to go play pool, and I know a bowling alley that has it for cheap. Let's go. unless you object to pool."

"No. Just tell me where to go." It was a relief that he didn't have to think of anything. Most of his other dates had been the traditional sort of dinner, movie, than back to his place for. but he didn't think that would be wise to even suggest on a first date. Kaoru gave him a few directions, and then the old bowling alley loomed in front of them. There were a few people there, mostly old league bowlers doing their Sunday night tradition. All the pool tables were open and they quickly positioned themselves at one. Kaoru enjoyed giving a shot at things, but she would be the first to admit that although she was decent that Enishi was downright impressive. Was he just good at everything? At this point she should just accept the fact that the people she chose to hang around with were just super human in many ways. Although there were moments that Enishi seemed inhuman. eep he was looking at her looking at him again. He must have made his shot and she just didn't notice.

"Would you like something? I'm going to get something to drink." Enishi pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose with a finger.

"Some water would be nice, thanks." Kaoru tried not to blush and concentrated on what she would do for her next shot.

Enishi felt good about how the evening was going, albeit a bit confused. Why had he taken her to where he practiced martial arts? It was a place he used to be alone. Maybe he wanted her to feel she was special in some way. Things would progress faster this way. Yes. That was the answer. He needed to trust his intuition more. He waited for the man to go back and get some bottled water from a cooler and observed Kaoru squatting near the table looking at the pool balls and working the geometry of her shot. Her tongue stuck out the side of her mouth just a little and she squinted in concentration. A smile came, unbidden, to his lips. It quickly faded as a relatively young, as in his late thirties maybe, bowler oozed his way over and tapped her on the shoulder. Enishi watched her reflexively begin to attack and the stifle the reaction before hurting the man. The man, oblivious to the fact that he had almost given himself a trip to the hospital proceeded to put a slimy arm around her shoulders and hit on her. At least that's what the body language said. Kaoru, alarmed and angered, was twitching around the eyes. She extracted herself, was again encircled, and again extracted herself. In many ways it should have been funny, and a part of Enishi found it quite humorous.

A larger part just wanted to beat the crap out of that man for touching her.

The man, who had patiently for a moment or two been waiting for payment for the liquids, cleared his throat. Enishi turned and threw some money at him without taking his eyes off of Kaoru and the man still attempting to get close to her. Grabbing the drinks he strode over, purposefully in a leisurely manner to hide his rage, which was beginning to seethe. Setting the drinks on the side of the pool table, he tapped the man on the shoulder to get his attention. Kaoru gave him a grateful glance.

"I don't think the lady appreciates that." Enishi pushed at his glasses again.

With a sour expression the man turned and then looked up at Enishi's much taller frame. "Let the lady make her own choice. We were talking, now get lost."

"I think you should take your arm off of her." The man had better get a clue soon.

"I'll do whatever I like, mind your own business." Turning back to Kaoru. "C'mon honey, I want to show you a real good time. Let's hit the town tonight."

Tapping his shoulder again, Enishi exerted more effort to hold his wrath in check. "Take your arm off of her before I am forced to remove you."

Narrowing his eyes, the man looked Enishi up and down. He looked behind him and made a motion with his head. A large man walked over from a far off lane, he matched Enishi in height but where Enishi was lean this man was bulky. There was no difference in Enishi's expression or stance, but he was well aware of how the situation had changed. No he felt perfectly willing to do what he wanted to do from the beginning.

Enishi sighed. "Very well." Whipping around he punched the large man in the stomach making him double over, then used his elbow to jab him in the upper back and dropping him to the floor. A vicious couple of punches to the other smaller man quickly dispatched him to an unconscious trip to the floor. Kaoru was grateful to be no longer molested, but this was a shocking development. Everyone in the bowling alley looked a little shocked. Usually people took it outside. Usually it didn't go that fast. The big man began to get up, but was stunned so was taking a little while. Enishi looked like he was perfectly willing to wait for the man to get up to finish the fight, but instead Kaoru took action. Grabbing Enishi's hand she ran out as fast as possible, abandoning their pool game among other things. At least she had enough presence of mind to grab her purse, but her coat was left behind as a casualty. Once outside and at the car, she made Enishi start it up and leave before the men recovered. When it seemed as if they were a few blocks away, she felt better.

"What was that?! I don't think that the situation called for action that drastic!" Kaoru's adrenaline levels were really high and screeched just a little.

"It took care of things efficiently, didn't it?" Truthfully, he also was a little angry at himself for giving in to his violent urges. It showed a lack of self-control. He couldn't afford that. But when that man touched her.

"Oh lord, and my coat's gone forever I'll bet. There's no way I'm going back to that bowling alley! Not ever." She fidgeted in her seat. The evening had certainly been interesting.

"I'm sorry you're displeased."

There was a silence for a while as Enishi drove her home. Things had been less than perfect from his perspective as well. But the damage was reparable. She didn't seem all that angry with him, just concerned and overly excited. The flash in her eyes was better than the dull confusion and vague worry she had reflecting since leaving the restaurant. The way she had her legs propped against the door was quite indecent in that skirt as well, now that her posture was relaxed and natural. He directed his attention towards traffic again reluctantly. For the rest of the drive home he considered whether he should try to kiss her or not. Kaoru, for the rest of the drive, considered whether she was flattered or horrified. He had been protecting her after all, even if the violent means were less than ideal.

When they arrived in front of her house, Kaoru got out and wrapped her arms around her cold body. She had really liked that coat too. Darn it all. Enishi walked her up to her door. Kaoru evaluated the date in her mind and tried to arrive at a decision. He didn't say anything, even as they stood in front of her door. It made Kaoru think of last time, and she invariably thought back to how they kissed. Enishi was trying to find the right thing to say to her.

"Oh hell." Kaoru exclaimed softly before grabbing him and pulling him to her. She had to admit that she had wanted this again, and judging from his reaction that she could feel while pressed against him, so had he. Enishi, surprised but most definitely not displeased, felt how soft she was and how she still shivered a little from the cold fall night. Her mouth was a little spicy and warm though, which was enough to spur his need. Damn it, he wanted something in her but not his tongue and not in her mouth. Kaoru pulled back with a smile even as he felt his control slipping.

"Just thought I'd say goodnight. We should do this again sometime. but something that doesn't involve pool." She smiled lazily.

"Nnnnn." Was all he could manage to say in response so soon.

She walked inside and waved to him and he wandered back to his car. He looked dazed, and it was nice to think she had been able to phase him in some way. Turning away from the door she gave a little yelp as Megumi smiled at her from a chair in the living room. With fingers steepled and a terribly amused expression, she looked more like an evil fox than ever before.

"You looked like you were trying to swallow him whole. why didn't you invite him in? I could have made myself scarce." Megumi was obviously laughing at her.

"It was our first date. I'm not THAT easy." Kaoru sighed and dropped her purse on the couch before flopping beside it. "Besides, I have to tell you that tonight has been stressful enough without needing to worry about other complications."

"Stressful?"

"Well, it all started when I suggested we go play pool."

*

Damndamndamndamn. She had done it again. Slipped right past his finely constructed screen of emotions and grabbed him in an instinctual way that he couldn't deny was appealing in some ways. The whole physical side of things was so messy and brought complications he didn't need, but she made him want to give it a shot anyway. Best to put all that aside for now. At the moment it seemed that she was getting attached to him in some way, and had even mentioned seeing him again. Things would progress to a successful conclusion. He was sure of it. Tomoe would have her vengeance and Himura would pay. With that surety he walked into his house with his usual calm, cold smile. Everything was back to normal.


	4. Chapter 4

Back to the drudgery of school, but now November seemed a bit more cheery and full of prospects than Kaoru had seen it as before. Monday was tiring, but that was to be expected. Waking up felt too early. It didn't matter what time, it was still too early. Wandering over to her first class, she didn't feel up to Latin today. Conjugate this, decline that. it just seemed to go on and on. It wasn't that she disliked Latin, she didn't dislike any of the things she took, but there was nothing she felt passionate about and she had taken a little bit of so many things. Latin was her foray into the Language department, and multivariate her attempt at Math, her other classes were similarly unrelated. Last year she had tried History, Computer Science, English, Philosophy, Economics. the list went on. None of it was inspiring. Even though she was almost done with all her university requirements, she still needed to start on a major of some type. That's why people like, well, everyone else she knew were so admirable. Megumi had medicine, Sano his activism, Kenshin his psychology, and Enishi had law. What did Kaoru have except a lot of loans and some interesting trivia knowledge?

It was lunch, thank goodness, and she jealously guarded her table in the café near the school cafeteria. She was in a corner and leaning against the wall, sorting out what she needed to do next in her head. Kenshin, spotting her, waved and came to sit down with her. He smiled in an adorable manner and asked her how her Monday was.

"It's a Monday, and I'm awake, isn't that enough?" Kaoru whined in response. Kenshin laughed. "At any rate, I'm just trying to catch my breath. Midterms were last week, after all. I'm still a little dazed."

"I know what you mean. My thesis isn't coming as fast as I thought it would. At this rate the data from my experiments won't be ready until the end of the month." Kenshin looked a little bit flustered.

"Did you have a good time with that Saitou fellow?" Kaoru was surprised. Kenshin showing any sort of emotion was always a shock.

"Well, he is always very much.. him. He always knows exactly what he is doing and where he is going. His conviction is amazing." Kenshin looked far away. "We talked about.. things. how did your date go?" Why did he look so worried, Kaoru wondered.

"It was a little bit disaster, and a little bit fun. It's hard to explain." Actually Kaoru didn't want to explain at all. If Kenshin had never found out about her date it would have been better for everyone, so far as Kaoru was concerned. With a burst of energy and, most importantly, distraction, Yahiko descended upon them. It looked like Kaoru wasn't going to have a quiet lunch. Smiling at the slightly gibbering freshman, she heard all about the funniest thing some teacher said and laughed despite not really listening. Talking to Kenshin about Enishi was a distinctly unattractive prospect. She had only been on one date with Enishi and already her life was shifting in new and frightening ways. A part of her had already dismissed Kenshin because he had not ever made a move and she had not told him she liked him whereas Enishi was new exciting and obviously interested. Then there was a large part of her that felt really bad about being, what she saw as, so fickle.

Lunch passed in a blur and classes too. Before she knew Kaoru found herself at home doing math problems and wishing that she were done with math problems. Her prayers were answered in a sort of backwards way when Megumi came rushing in. Naturally, it was about something stupid Sano had said or did. She ranted about his stupidity, his aggressiveness, the way he could not simply be normal for five second. This happened every week. Kaoru could almost time it by now. As strange as it seemed, her vague feeling of dissatisfaction and unreality immediately evaporated in the face of Megumi's weekly Sano bashing ritual. This was life. Nothing had changed so why was she making such a big deal out of it. All that worrying had been for nothing.

*

Enishi observed Kaoru as she sat down at a table during lunch as he was working on his laptop not too far away in the lounge next to the café. They had seen one another last night and to see her so soon after betrayed a certain desperation, not to mention it would look like he was stalking her. Even with all those reasons not to, he still wanted to. She looked so funny narrowing her eyes at people who passed by her as if they were going to jump her and take her seat away. Sighing, her face relaxed and she picked at the sandwich she had pulled from some plastic ware in her bag. He was glad when Himura sat down with her, thus relieving him of the indecision of joining her or not.

In fact, this provided new focus for his hatred. Funny, how he had to be grateful to the very bastard who killed his sister. Looking down at his hand, he saw that he had been clenching it so hard that there were red marks where his fingernails had pushed in. This was not the place to be to get work done. Enishi slammed his laptop closed and walked out; brushing past the annoying brat freshman that Kaoru often spoke with. He hated that freshman, and not for any other reason than because he had no worries about anything. That kid wasn't expected to carry on a family business, or revenge a dear one. What's more, that boy was on his way to talk to Kaoru. Why that rankled most of all in that moment, Enishi didn't dare to say.

Something about the day seemed stupid, and so he skipped his classes for the rest of the day. They were abominably easy anyway, and it wasn't as if the professors noticed if he were there or not. Instead, he got into his car and took a drive. No music. No distractions. All he wanted was to destroy something. Anger, usually coolly hidden, boiled just below the surface making him a very dangerous person indeed. To the quiet copse of trees he took himself, and once there he pulled a sword from a sheath built into the trunk of his car. It was large, sharp, and he knew exactly how to use it. He had specialized in all sorts of swords over the years, but he liked the solid thunk of sharp metal biting into something deeply. More often than not these days he imagined it was Himura. The thought made him smile. A sharp laugh cracked out among the trees, and he tried to perform everything with the precision he knew he possessed. After a little while he was sweating and tired. It had already been a couple hours. Being late fall it was already starting to get a little bit dark. Not that he had anything to fear from the dark. Something nagged at his mind though.

Once he had gotten into the car it finally struck him. Kaoru had lost her jacket last night because of him. It would only be the gentlemanly thing to do to get it back. Certainly it would ingratiate her to him all the more. As a calculated step it was ideal. Swiftly he made his way back towards the scene of their somewhat disastrous date, it would be better for all involved that he not encounter that man again. Kaoru was not there to prevent him from really hurting the man, just for practice. He felt quite at leisure actually, so it was not likely that he would start a fight. Almost a pity really, since he was all warmed up and limber. The bowling alley was open and a single game was going on in the corner; some high schoolers looked to be amusing themselves. No sign of the man from last night, or his crony. It was for the best. Enishi approached the counter and asked the man stationed there if there was a lost and found.

"I take it you came for the lady's coat." He did not look particularly happy to see Enishi, but he wasn't about to aggravate someone who had already proved to be somewhat dangerous.

"Yes, I trust you still have it here?" He put just a hint of threat into the question as he narrowed his eyes. Playing around with fools like these was a fun diversion.

The man cleared his throat under his breath. "Yes, just a moment." He went into the back and disappeared for a minute or two. Enishi pushed up his glasses with a finger and looked around the dingy bowling alley. Kaoru had a strange idea of fun. On the one hand it seemed as if he would have to put in hardly any effort at all to impress, but then the fact that she liked places like this implied that appearances might not mean as much to her as content. That would make things more difficult as things progressed. Oh well, he had confidence in his acting skills. The man returned with the coat. He held out the coat for Enishi to take, but instead of touching he Enishi merely stood there and stared at the man. Eventually the guy set the coat down in front of Enishi and retreated back from where he had gotten the coat. As he left the bowling alley Enishi snickered. People were so simple. Glancing down at the coat he considered its state and then decided to go to the dry cleaners before they closed. Kaoru would like his thoughtfulness, but it also meant waiting a day or so before seeing her again. Pulling out of the parking lot with a squeal, he made his way to the dry cleaners.

*

Kaoru fiddled with a math problem. It wasn't that hard, but she wasn't in the mood to really think about it and hence it was taking far longer than it should. It was only seven but so dark that it might as well be midnight. Even though tired, Kaoru decided that sleep was not the best option. If she slept right then, sleep would not happen for the rest of the night. It was always the way. Her body's biorhythms always seemed off a bit. With a sigh she took a sip from her bottle of juice and let her eyes wander around her room. Some posters here and there to fill the emptiness with color, a slightly messy bed, some clothes thrown around, the computer humming softly with the screensaver going, books and papers in piles around the room. not really terribly messy but most certainly not clean. Kaoru wondered what rooms said about people. Hers seemed to speak about someone who had a sense of cleanliness but no conviction to stay truly clean or let everything be messy either. Someone undecided. Bah. This was useless. Picking up a sweater from the floor and a scarf as well she strode out onto the street to take a walk.

It was probably not the best idea. She was alone, it was dark, and all the warnings of her father rang in her ears about girls who didn't protect themselves. Even though a vague uneasiness slid over her when she passed alleys, not much was out there that she thought was out of her power to handle. That's all that ever saved her confidence, was that she knew somehow things would work out. Blind faith, maybe, but she could live with that. Her steps were taking her in a familiar direction. Often she had stridden this way when she was bored or thought up some pretend purpose. Soon she'd actually get to Kenshin's place and then she'd need to have a reason for going there. She had maybe ten or fifteen minutes before she got there, so at least there was some time to make something up that was partially plausible. But even as she was thinking these things she knew that she didn't want to make up something. Why did she have to have a reason for going over there? In that moment she felt very stupid and childish. Maybe even sophomoric. Only Kaoru would find that pun funny, so she resolved never to use the word again in conversation.

Standing in front of the door to his apartment, Kaoru watched her breath crystallize in the air and dissipate. The knock she gave was sharp and almost hurt her hand. Things didn't seem right. There was a weird feeling in the air. Her instincts for these things were generally pretty good, but she never was able to predict what the energy was from. Kenshin pulled open the door and his weary frown was replaced with a smile.

"Kaoru! I didn't expect to see you. I'm glad you came though. Come in." Inside was so bare of clutter and clean. Kaoru felt renewed shame over her room. Naturally Kenshin would be perfect. She should never have wondered.

"How goes the thesis?"

"Long and frustrating as ever, but it will be done soon. I hate editing, I can never find the mistakes and then when I do they are so glaring.." He broke of with a chuckle and ran his fingers through his hair. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't complain to you." Gah. He was apologizing? Sometimes this man was unreal. "Is something wrong?"

Normally Kaoru would have said no and made small talk again. But the strange pressure on her mind pushed a different response to the forefront of her brain. The guilt, the desire, the strange mix of admiration and consternation boiled up like a geyser that had been under pressure for far too long. And now she just popped.

"Kenshin, damn it, I think I may love you but I'm going to give up on you if you don't want me. I met someone and I really like them, but I have loved you for so long and.. Damn. I don't know what I'm saying." Her cheeks, red from the warmth after being cold for so long now became a bright crimson as she felt her whole body blush. ". er.." Kenshin's eyes grew wide and he froze in place. "I just wanted to know if you knew that I felt this way. I've been waiting for so long to tell you, too long really. I just don't want to have to make a choice. If you don't want me." Even saying those words hurt so much. This had been built up for too long. There was too much emotion and too much expectation. Kenshin sat down in a chair and seemed to zone out a moment, eyes shifting and mouth an expressionless line. Kaoru waited in discomfort for some time. When she got up to leave, she wondered if she would ever get an answer. Her hand twisted the doorknob, which was surprisingly cold.

"Wait." It was soft, but forceful. Kenshin's voice sounded strangled. Kaoru backed away from the door. "Please." Kaoru turned around and sat down again. Kenshin still wasn't looking at her. He was still looking at something far away, and probably long ago. Still unfocused and sad looking, Kenshin began to talk.

"I was so young. I'm still young. But I was younger than you. But then so was she. It didn't matter at the time. It was enough that we were together. When I was with her everything else didn't matter. I don't want to pain you with the details of my emotions as they pain me too, but it is enough that you know I really truly loved her. Her name was Tomoe, and I would have given her anything. I had been with her for almost a year. We had met so early and had gotten close so quickly. When she suggested a camping trip it seemed like a great idea. I had never been camping in the mountains before. She had though, and assured me she knew what we were doing. And she did know, and everything was fine. It was on the way back you see. I hadn't gotten new tires yet, and the old ones were pretty bald. The last freeze the night we left was such a bad one. I didn't have chains, but I thought we could make it if we just went slowly. But the incline was too steep. I could only try to not crash badly, but I couldn't even do that. We rolled down a good portion of the mountain before a tree near a lower bend of road stopped our fall. Smoke was pouring out of the engine, but there was no danger of fire. On the other hand, I was grateful for the smoke, because it told people where we were. There is no excuse for how badly prepared I was. The doors had been crushed, naturally, and we were stuck in our seats. The gear that had been in the trunk was scattered all the way behind us in a trail leading to our crash. She was so pale, and I think Tomoe had hit her head pretty badly on the window. I tried to wake her up, but she only mumbled about being sleepy. I told her she had to stay awake and wait for help. It was much too cold, and we were so high up, but the coats were hundreds of feet beyond the car and impossible to reach. I remember pulling at the door, but then I couldn't do anything. The wrist had broken when it hit the steering wheel when we had rolled down the side of the hill. I was useless." Then Kenshin began to cry. "Do you know what it is like to be useless? I was trapped, next to the woman I loved and unable to help her. It was only just that we both die, I thought towards the end. We had been there for many hours. The crash had been in the morning, but no help came until well after dark. I fell asleep before they came. It was just so cold, and Tomoe had stopped talking to me long before that. I tried to wrap my clothes around her, but taking them off was so difficult. but somehow I still managed. Maybe that movement is what saved my life. Ironic, as the point was to save hers."

Kenshin looked up at Kaoru finally. "I failed her Kaoru. My love died that night, next to me, preserved always in all her youthful beauty. How blue her skin was, and how black her hair." Kenshin was still crying but seemed to be ignoring that. "There was nothing left for me Kaoru. For a year or more I was dead inside. But you and Sano and all my friends were all so understanding. You didn't know about the incident. No one talked about it. At least never to me. It was like getting my circulation back. I felt human again."

"Kenshin." Kaoru was almost ready to cry herself.

"To answer your question, yes, yes I had a good idea that you liked me. It was odd at first to see it, and I wasn't sure how to handle it. I let it go because I didn't want to deal with it and you weren't going to bring it up. But somewhere in there things got confused. I don't know how I feel about you right now Kaoru. I'm damaged inside, but I'm trying to heal. Maybe with time. but I just wanted you to know why what you told me isn't so simple as he saying 'yes I like you' or 'no I don't like you'. Is that understandable?"

"Perfectly." With numb nerves Kaoru got up to go. She was strong enough to walk out, and right now she desperately needed to walk out. Kenshin didn't stop her. That was most certainly not what she had had in mind when she went for her walk.

*

This resolved nothing. If anything Kaoru was far more confused than when she started out. Kenshin maybe cared for her, but maybe he was still too traumatized from the loss of his first love. If he did care for her, would she still want him knowing that maybe it was not out of a sense of true affection but possibly from the gratefulness to her as a friend. It was all very confusing and too much for her to handle all at once. She wanted to swear, cry, anything to make the bubbling mix of emotions simmer down to something more manageable. And then she thought about Enishi. That just made things a thousand times worse.

Enishi didn't appear to have the baggage Kenshin did and that in of itself was appealing at that moment, but then she felt like she wanted him just to escape the terrible confusion that tormented her mind. Beyond that, Enishi wanted her for her. It seemed as if her decision should be clear. She didn't need the emotional craziness that Kenshin stood for, but in running away she again came back to feeling like a bad person for leaving him alone with his pain. Kenshin had showed her something very meaningful to him, and didn't that give her more fodder for the case that maybe he did care after all. It was a terrible dilemma, and it didn't appear to want to afford a good option in all of this.

It was times like this she really needed to talk to Megumi and Sano. They would put everything in perspective. Hauling herself back home as quickly as possible she knocked on Megumi's door as loud as possible, just in case. There was some scuffling and a swear word or two, and then the door opened a crack and Megumi stuck her head out with a cranky expression on her face. However, as soon as she saw Kaoru her eyes widened and the door shut only to be opened a few minutes later and a bustling and clucking Megumi steered Kaoru to the couch.

"Tell." Megumi had never seen Kaoru this distraught. It was alarming.

"I went to see Kenshin." Kaoru began and Megumi's eyebrow rose in question. ". and I told him everything." Megumi sighed and hugged her friend. She had been waiting for this. So Kenshin's rejection had finally landed. "He doesn't know. He doesn't know, and oh Megumi there is so much more to it then that and I can't even begin.." At that point the stress finally got to Kaoru and all she could do was blubber. Megumi couldn't make any sense of it, but Sano listening from the doorway had a good idea about what had transpired. When Kaoru finally detached herself from her death grip on Megumi and wandered back up to her room, Sano took Megumi aside.

"She's really broken up. But I don't know what would do this to her. She's a pretty strong person. Kenshin really must have done something terrible. You can bet he's going to get it from me when I."

"You'll say nothing to Kenshin. You won't get involved." Sano interrupted her sharply and Megumi looked up in surprise.

"What?" Her eyes narrowed angrily at his sharp tone. She wasn't about to be ordered around.

"You don't know anything about this situation Megumi, and we don't belong in it. We are there to comfort our friends, but we can't so any more than that. I need to tell you a few things I learned from some people a while ago about Kenshin."

*

Enishi felt pretty good. The coat looked pretty nice, now that it had been cleaned a couple places stitched up where it had been getting worn. Kaoru would be pleased. Maybe she'd be pleased enough to let him get away with more than kissing her. It was horrible how his hormones were demanding that he see her. It was terribly illogical and made it difficult to think straight. The day was fresh and full of possibility, though, and even he felt optimistic in his cold, calculating, and poisonous soul.

He'd had a dream the night before. It was confusing. He'd seen his sister, but as always she was turned away from him. If she would just turn around and welcome him with her smiling face. he longed for her love so badly. Waking up and realizing that her presence had only been a dream had filled him with a frightening rage. He had thrown his clock against the wall and it shattered all over the rug near his door. Picking up the pieces one by one had been a pain. No one else in his house had asked questions. Enishi was paying the largest share for the house and most of the guys knew better then to question the enigmatic and powerful man who lived with them. After throwing away the clock and making a note to buy a new one that afternoon, Enishi was cheered by the thought of also picking up Kaoru's coat. After that dream he had wanted nothing more than to run to Kaoru, be held by her, and that was all. He had just wanted to be held. It was a childish wish. To want such a thing at this age, at this state in his mental development. it was almost worrying.

The quicker he used her the better, that's the only conclusion he had reached with any certainty. and even that filled him contradictory feelings.

"Damn you Kaoru," he said softly under his breath as he rubbed the sleeve of her coat. But he knew he didn't mean it.


	5. Chapter 5

It was unreasonably cold in front of her house, Enishi thought, and damned dark as well. A porch light or something would have been nice. He rubbed his hands together to keep out some chill and waited for someone to answer the door. He had been patient all day to wait for a time that Kaoru would certainly be home, not that he didn't have a good idea of her schedule, but he didn't want to seem like a stalker. That would be very disadvantageous to his plans. The coat looked very nice, and he made sure there was no clue to it having been cleaned. For some reason he hoped she would notice that on her own. It wasn't a very logical way to think, actually, since he should be going for all the points he could get. He dismissed the thought as the door gave a slight whine on its hinges and Kaoru presented herself before him.

"Oh, hello." She gave a faint smile and rallied her spirits to try to seem cheerful. "Come on in, it's rather cold out today."

Enishi stepped in with a lot on his mind. For one thing Kaoru looked about as dead inside as he often felt. There was a smile on her face, but that never said anything about a person, what you need to look at is the eyes. Hers were, for lack of a better term, vacant. There was nothing there, no happiness, no sadness, just a strange apathy that troubled him quite a lot to see. Something must have shocked her yesterday, and shocked her quite badly for her to fall into this kind of defensive system. The first thought that came to his mind was that he would find whoever did this and kill them in the most painful way possible. No one had the right to damage what was his. This inner play of thoughts would not have been apparent to Kaoru even if she had not been out of it; all she saw was Enishi stride into the living room.

"What brings you here this evening?" Sometimes Kaoru wished she could curl up and die, and now was one of those times. She had been thinking about Kenshin and Enishi all day. Often it came in snatches, but sometimes she would see the conversation with Kenshin in her mind's eye and this pain would start up in her chest. Now she was fairly numb, and that was good because she could get her work done, but with Enishi's appearance things were beginning to trouble her again.

Enishi held out her coat, and there was a brief flair of happy surprise before it faded like a candle being snuffed. She put the coat in the closet by the door and came back into the living room. They both stood a moment in silence and then Kaoru offered to show him the house. It seemed well enough, and even though he wasn't particularly interested he agreed to see it anyway. It didn't take too long, since it was just Kaoru and Megumi who lived there, but it was nice considering. Just one story, a kitchen, a living room, a den that Megumi used as a bedroom, then a small upstairs portion with a bathroom and Kaoru's bedroom. Kaoru blushed when they got to her room because she realized how bad it must look with all her books on the floor where she had been doing calculus and clothes scattered about with various papers and even a few CDs that she didn't remember ever throwing on the floor. Enishi took it all in and instead of being horrified by the disarray as he would have been normally felt like her room looked lived in. It was comfortable, even natural, and seemed appropriate so when she apologized repeatedly for the mess he paid no attention.

Megumi was doing some sort of science lab apparently, and wouldn't be back for a while. Kaoru asked if he wanted something to eat, since she hadn't made dinner yet for herself and could easily make enough for him too. Enishi declined; there was something dangerous about the tension that had been building between the two of them. Kaoru seemed perpetually on the verge of shutting down and still he asked nothing. She would tell him if he needed to know. But something in him burned to ask her anyway.

"Well." if Enishi wasn't going to have anything, Kaoru didn't know what to do. It was a terribly awkward silence that followed.

"Perhaps I should get going then. You seem. busy." He moved towards the door and Kaoru followed. "Nigh-"

"Wait," Kaoru interrupted softly as he reached for the doorknob. She needed some comfort so badly. Nothing felt right and the longer she pretended it was ok, the further down she slipped. Burying her face in Enishi's chest she began to sob like her heart was breaking. The stress of things was too much, and it was either crying alone or this. She was both glad and ashamed that Enishi was here for her like this.

Enishi, on his part, was incredibly shocked. Crying people are always difficult to deal with when you can't empathize with them. He didn't know what was wrong, and he couldn't even approach fixing it, but she was utterly pouring out her most base emotional turmoil right onto his chest. Sighing, he did all he could think to do, and that was wrap his arms around her. They stayed like that for a while, Kaoru quivering and crying mutedly into his shirt while he held her and looked down at her with an enigmatic expression. It took a few minutes until she calmed down. Extracting herself, she looked worn and about ready to collapse.

"I'm making too much out of all this." she said in a shaky voice "I'm a strong person, there isn't any reason for me to act like this, especially in front of you."

"That's alright." He didn't have anything to really comfort her with, but maybe he wasn't supposed to. "Is there anything I can do?"

"Not really." Kaoru gave him a smile and this time it reached her eyes, as puffy as they were. "Why do you want to be around me Enishi, I'm a basket case."

He smiled at her reassuringly. "Whatever is wrong, I'm sure it will get resolved soon." It struck him that she was vulnerable right now. He could strike out and seal her loyalty to him. It would be a dastardly thing to do in this moment. She'd probably even sleep with him right now if. oh damn. a forgotten spark of something, maybe his conscience, made him shiver. That might even be too evil for him. But that wasn't possible, the ends justified it, didn't it? He looked into her eyes and saw right through her into her thinly veiled pain and growing admiration for him. God, it would be like abusing a child, and he just couldn't do it. Inside he felt sick, why did he want to be around her indeed.

"Is something the matter?" Her variable mood was swinging back to sadness as he was silently debating something with a frown on his face.

"No, no. I'm just concerned about you." It was a decent save.

"You're such a good person." Oh that made him feel terrible. "I'll be fine soon enough."

"Would you like to go out with me on Saturday? I promise there will be no violence this time, we can even do something normal like go to a movie." He had to get out of here before she did something else to shake his resolve to act gentlemanly.

"Yes, I would love to." Enishi nodded and then opened the door. "Enishi?" He turned around, only to find Kaoru incredibly close. "Thank you." She brought his head down and kissed him slowly. Her lips were a little salty from her crying, but that didn't detract from the sensuality of the kiss. He could feel her body press against his, and his body react full heartedly to it. Her hand slid up under his shirt and her nails grazed his back. But just as he was starting to lose his grip on control, she ended the kiss and with a parting caress of his sides as she extracted her hands from his shirt as she pulled away. Even with his body burning, he keenly felt the loss of her warmth. "See you Saturday."

As the door closed Enishi felt like screaming at himself. Taking advantage of her would have jeopardized the plan. Yes. He had to keep telling himself that or he was going to go mad. And damn it all, next time he was very well going to take advantage of the little vixen. No one who could do this to his body could be THAT innocent.

*

While Kaoru was getting back to her calculus, slightly better emotionally than when she had begun it, Megumi was getting out of her lab. and heading straight for Kenshin's apartment. She needed to resolve some things with him. Sano had explained a lot of things to her, and that was all well and good. Yes yes, he was very pitiable, but just because you get damaged is no reason to curl up and die inside. He was dragging Kaoru down with him and she wasn't going to stand for it. They both needed, no, they both deserved better than that. The key lay with Kenshin. In her usual manner she knocked loudly and waited impatiently for Kenshin to answer the door. He answered with a tentative smile when he saw Megumi's face.

"Megumi, how are you? Please come in. I wasn't expecting any company tonight." Kenshin took her coat and offered her a seat.

"I have to talk to you Kenshin. You've made a terrible mistake." Megumi wanted to get straight to the point. "Kaoru has been in love with you for as long as I can remember, and all I know is last night she came home practically destroyed. She is barely functioning today and she was too broken to tell me what happened exactly but I think I know." Kenshin looked pale as Megumi talked but the smile never left his face. "I don't know what you said, but you've really hurt her. I want to know how you feel one way or another so that she can get on with her life. I don't like seeing my best friend hurting like this." Megumi felt better now. She liked taking action, it made things seem like they would all work out.

"Megumi, I understand your concern for Kaoru, but I can't tell you anything more certain than what I told her. I don't know how I feel. It isn't indifference, but I don't think it's love. I don't know what it is and it's been so long since I've been able to even think about having feelings for a woman again."

"That's a sad excuse Kenshin Himura, and you know it." Megumi did not like people who continually wallowed in their own sorrow. "If you don't take your own life into your hands you'll just go crazy with all the guilt inside of you. How can you not know this, you're a psych major! Seriously Kenshin, this is just ridiculous. Make a decision."

"I may be a psych major Megumi, but knowing how the mind works doesn't automatically erase pain, and what you're asking of me is not only difficult but presumptuous." Kenshin furrowed his brows and brushed a stray hair away from his face. "Besides, I don't want to drag Kaoru down into my misery. I would just be a burden to her. It would be so easy to get involved, but if I'm not emotionally committed beyond friendship I run the risk of really hurting her in the long run."

"Those are the words of a coward Kenshin." Megumi narrowed her eyes and spoke softly. "You won't take the chance, so you'll never know if you can heal. Maybe if you give Kaoru a chance then things will turn out for the better. You say you aren't indifferent and you say you're her friend, but is there anything else there at all? If there's even a spark of something, then it might be worth the try. This could be your chance to heal. Kaoru could be your redemption. But if you reject her now you'll never get another chance with her, I've seen this man she's with and he won't give up on her easily." Megumi felt bad for Kenshin, but if this is what Kaoru wanted then Megumi would do what she could to engineer it. It seemed like they would probably be good for one another once he got over this emotional hump.

"I'll think about it Megumi. I have a lot of things to think about." Kenshin tried valiantly to recapture his perpetual smile. It was so sad. Megumi all at once felt somewhat bad for putting so much pressure on him.

"Don't worry Kenshin, I'll help you. No one is in this life alone you know. I'm sure Sano will help too. We're all with you. What we want is for you and Kaoru to be happy." Megumi stood up and patted Kenshin's hand before she left. She turned to the still Kenshin with a glint in her eye. "You don't have much time though, so better take initiative soon."

Once she left Kenshin sat and thought to himself. He didn't want to lose Kaoru, did he? She had always been there and she was a nice person. Always so attentive and once he stripped away all the layers of decided sexual repression she was also fairly attractive. Was it enough? Was going out with Kaoru really what he needed to get over Tomoe? Or would it all be a sham, just some therapy from a friend who would then take it wrong and get hurt when Kenshin moved on? He wasn't sure. You never knew what your own biases were because you couldn't be truly objective. Psychology was so much easier to use on other people. Then of course there was the whole matter with her current boyfriend. if he was her boyfriend. They had only gone out a few times, because all this had happened pretty recently, but that did not mean that she wasn't already getting attached to him. That was another obstacle in addition to his own objections. He should try to meet this other man and try to understand what he would be competing against. That would probably be a good idea. But there was no way to do it casually that he could think of. It would be best to call Megumi tomorrow and ask her how he could meet this guy.

Kenshin sighed and got up from the chair. He had more work to do on his thesis. He really hadn't needed this sort of stress.

*

"So what movie are you guys seeing?" Megumi was sitting on the couch, remote in hand, while Sano struggled with some popcorn in the kitchen. His lack of skill doing pretty much anything resembling housework was amazing and his disastrous ineptitude extended to the kitchen and all its workings. He had already burned the first bag of microwave popcorn and was now struggling to open the second bag's plastic covering. Some colorful swear words floated into the living room over the sound of commercials.

Kaoru thought a moment. "I don't know. I think we'll catch whatever's playing at the art theater at around nine, then maybe catch something to eat somewhere. It's not like I make fixed plans, it's more exciting this way." She brushed out her hair and lobbed the thing up the stairs. She'd pick it up later. Tying up her hair in a slightly messy bun and grabbing a scarf, she heard a knock at the door.

"You're late." Kaoru smiled brightly at Enishi.

"You're not ready yet." He answered back. She looked much happier than the last time he saw her. That's good, spending an emotionally charged evening with a girl at the point of breaking did not exactly sound like fun. But he would have tolerated it if it had come down to that.

"Fair enough. Let me grab my coat and we can go. I think we should go to the art theater tonight. It should be good, it almost always is."

Kaoru rushed out the door with Enishi shortly after, Megumi heard him say something about how tortured artists shouldn't give their gift of pain to the public, but Kaoru just laughed it off. They would go to the art theater. As soon as Megumi heard the sound of a car start up, she rushed over to the phone. Sano walked in with some popcorn, at last, proud to have only gone through one test package when he heard Megumi's conversation.

".so just walk in and go to the next show and pretend to run into them by chance.. No. yes. don't be silly.. Yes it will work. don't say that. Kenshin. Just do it! Good luck, bye." She looked at Sano's wry expression. "What?"

"Are you sure you should get involved? This doesn't have anything to do with you really." Sano was very skeptical about messing in people's personal lives, as it almost always did not benefit anything in the long run.

"Of course it has something to do with me!" Megumi exclaimed. "Kaoru is my best friend and I want her to be happy. She's wanted Kenshin for forever and now he's starting to maybe want her back."

"But Kaoru seems to be doing fine on her own, I mean she did meet someone on her own. You didn't have any part of that. The mess with Kenshin will pass and she could still be ok without him." Sano steered Megumi to the couch and dug into the popcorn.

"You may be right." Sano smirked. "MAYBE. But I'll still do what I think is best for Kaoru. If she's going to give up on Kenshin then she needs to know that she isn't just doing it because she had to. If Enishi is just a poor second choice then I can't let her do that to herself. Besides, if she does want Kenshin then it would be good for him too. He has to get over that emotional baggage sometime and the sooner the better."

"Mmmm." It was a noncommittal answer, but with Megumi that was often the best way to end a discussion.

*

"Admit you liked it." Kaoru was dancing around, glad to be in the cold and fresh air after the stuffy theater. The seats were none too comfortable either, but that's the way it was at little places like this.

"If I admit my mistaken prejudice, then what do I get?" Enishi smiled at her energetic behavior.

"Hmmm. A penny!" Kaoru laughed.

"A penny? I don't know if it's worth it. A penny doesn't get me much." It looked like it was threatening to snow. Enishi hoped it would. He liked the way it made everything formless and almost uniform. It was a comfortable sort of absorption.

"This penny is magic. It will give you one wish. within reason. Even magic pennies can't do everything, plus this one is pretty new."

"Then I admit I liked it." He hadn't really cared either way, so it wasn't exactly a lie.

"Here is your penny sir, what shall you wish for?" Kaoru laughed again as she dropped a penny into Enishi's hand. He looked at it a moment, a smile touching the corner of his mouth. I don't suppose she can raise the dead. It was a morbid thought to be having. He dismissed it quickly. Before he could give his answer, a familiar voice cut through his nerves.

"Kaoru, how are you tonight?" Himura. Naturally. What a way to ruin a night. Anger seethed inside of him. For a moment he idly wondered if he could make a wish that Himura die slowly and painfully in front of him.

"I'm fine Kenshin. You here to see the film?" They started to talk a bit. He waited for what was going to come eventually. It felt too soon. He hadn't had enough time with her. He needed at least another month or two. But things could be moved up a notch. There was always room for movement.

"Kenshin, I want you to meet Enishi." Kaoru turned towards him finally and Enishi found himself staring directly into the guileless violet eyes of the man he wanted to destroy with every fiber of his being. "Enishi, this is my friend Kenshin. Have you met before?"

"We haven't had the. pleasure of meeting one another." Enishi smiled his most insincere smile. "Enishi Yukishiro. Good to meet you."

Enishi watched in glorious pleasure as Kenshin, who surely had not picked up on the family resemblance because of the white hair and more masculine features, but there was a healthy likeness to Tomoe in Enishi's features. The last name would have to tip him off. It must have because the already pale Kenshin lost nearly all of his color and looked about ready to vomit. Kaoru was unaware of what was going on, but her high on life was wearing off in the presence of the most stressful aspects of her life together in the same spot. She pushed at her temple as if she were getting a headache. The grin never left her face. It would have been funny to Enishi that all of them were smiling but so far from any happy emotion that it was sickening. Enishi never blinked as he stared straight into Kenshin's eyes. Kaoru was the first to break the tension by mentioning that they should get going if they were going to get something to eat. She said a quick goodbye, which Kenshin echoed faintly and turned to go to the car.

Enishi lingered a moment. Leaning towards Kenshin's ear as he passed him he murmured: "You took Tomoe from me, it's only fair I should get Kaoru." Kenshin's eyes flashed in sadness and then anger. "Enjoy your time with her while you can, the future is very uncertain you know." Perfect. Ambiguous but threatening. Pretty good for a spur of the moment threat.

Kenshin's eyed tracked the two of them as they got in the car and drove off. So that was Kaoru's boyfriend.

*

Kaoru tried to regain her good humor. She had been pretty shaken up by seeing Kenshin. Dinner had been almost flavorless because of her agitated state, and the pauses in conversation had been long and terrible. Enishi deserved better. Maybe an explanation or something, but she didn't want to start a conversation like that tonight. If she were lucky she would never have to have that conversation with him.

"I want to see your house. I don't even really know who you live with or who your friends are or anything. You've met most of my really good friends already." Kaoru thought maybe that would take her mind off things.

"It's not even 1 in the morning yet, so I'm sure all my roommates are out drinking still. They won't be home until the parties dies. or all their brain cells. whatever." Enishi knew that Kaoru was highly aggravated. "As for friends. that is a little complicated too. I don't know if I have friends like you have friends. All my friends are more acquaintances who share more interests with me and some conversation above other less personal acquaintances. I'm sure you think that sounds very lonely."

"I was thinking that actually. How could you go through life like that?" Kaoru thought she would just go mad if she had to face a life essentially alone. At least that's what it sounded like he was saying, that he went though life alone. It surprised her that he didn't seem sad about it in the least.

Enishi found himself actually giving her a direct answer, much to his surprise. "At first it was difficult, but you get used to it. Eventually you think that your isolation sets you apart, makes you more independent and through that special. Really it is mainly boring and empty. People can get used to almost anything given enough conditioning." He felt like he had said to much. Pulling up next to the curb he got out without a word.

"We're at." Kaoru felt odd all of a sudden, different from the upset feelings of before.

"My house. You said you wanted to see it. You gave me the full tour of your place."

It didn't take too long to see everything, though it was a larger house and even had a basement. The basement was particularly dark with lots of sectioned off storage spaces that created scary black shadows in the lighting provided some flickering bare bulbs. Enishi jumped out at her when she was looking into one of them and was suddenly glad his roommates weren't home because the scream Kaoru emitted was deafening. To make matters worse, her first reaction as she screamed was to turn and hit him. Not expecting an attack, he only avoided the full force managing to deflect it into a glancing blow. But even a glancing blow to the kidney is enough to hurt pretty badly. Kaoru was immediately sorry as she apologized all the way up the stairs and into the living room as Enishi pretended fatal injury. Kaoru sat next to him and asked if there was anything she could do to make it better.

"Kiss it." He said jokingly, but then realized that he meant it seriously. Her lips, his skin. suddenly he wasn't in a joking mood in the least. All his energy focused as anger at Kenshin, just simmering in his mind, dissipated and was redirected towards more pleasant things. Kaoru blushed, but obligingly lifted up the side of his shirt and pressed her cool lips to his side. "That magic penny still good?" Enishi asked. It was about time to make his claim on her in a way Kenshin never would, (if he had any say in it). She nodded, still blushing. "And it's a reasonable request?" He didn't want her to feel threatened or forced.

"Depends." Her tongue quickly moistened her dry lips, her nervousness apparent. "I'll tell you when it isn't reasonable." That's all he needed to know. Standing up, he led her into his room. Kaoru slid Enishi's shirt off and ran her hands over his chest as he unbuttoned hers in his usual efficient way he did everything. He was all skin and muscle, not large bulky muscle either, but the lean kind that stretched and responded to her prodding. Kicking off shoes, Kaoru worked off the clasps of her skirt and then went to lay on the bed in her undergarments.

The actions were so familiar to Enishi. Removal of clothing, getting the condom. but the surge of anticipation and the adrenaline making him almost shake was a new thing to deal with. Why did this girl have such power over him? He'd slept with lots of girls over the years, and Kaoru surely had been with a boy or two. best not to think of that as he'd just want to cut them down with his sword if he knew who they were. Kaoru was his. It was a primal thought; maybe he was no better than an animal. Yet, he refused to degrade this either as portraying it as merely an instinctual process or in the same light as his other trysts. This was special. What about revenge? a part of his mind called out. That made him pause a moment as he lowered himself next to Kaoru. It's all for revenge.

The thought faded as his skin met hers and one of her hands twined in his hair with the other softly raking his back with its nails, raising goosebumps. He enjoyed the taste of the skin at her neck, salty and sweet, and felt a rush of power as he made her moan softly. Her passion seemed so pure, and Enishi gloried in her body like it was his way to redemption. He was filth, he was using her, but in this moment it didn't matter. And with that thought Kaoru got tired of passively enjoying herself and forced him beneath her.

"You're so beautiful." Kaoru whispered in his ear before moving her head lower, and that was the last thing either of them said until morning.


	6. Chapter 6

He contemplated her with a strange sort of serenity. There was beauty there, and innocence, and in comparison he felt unclean. She had surrendered to him so easily and what had initially been a feeling of triumph had slowly disintegrated into a vague self-loathing. Her purity was something he was never meant to possess. Why had he brought her here knowing that he had sealed the fall of this angel? Things that had been so clear to him seemed less so in the light of morning. His bleary mind wandered around and assessed things around him as he came to his senses.

Slumbering on her stomach, hair in charming disarray, Kaoru seemed happy enough. Enishi ran a hand down the skin of her back and she made a pleased murmur in her sleep. It was odd, for normally he would take a shower and immediately avoid his partners but, other than the fact that it would be detrimental to his plans to do that to her, he found that he didn't want to. Her presence was comforting. He hadn't dreamed at all, and considering how often his dreams made him not want to sleep, it only made her that much more precious in his eyes.

It had been a delightful night. She had been so willing and energetic. if his roommates had thought he had lived like a monk the past few months, there was no way they could accuse him of it now. If anyone had been home then they surely would have heard something. Hopefully the idiots wouldn't say anything to him about it, as he was in no mood to deal with insolent comments. He didn't want to discuss Kaoru with them either, as the idea of them seeing her as cheap or as a sex object made him irritated. Enishi stroked her slightly matted raven hair and she stirred, shifting to one side. No, Kaoru wasn't easy. From his investigations into the people around Himura he knew that the lady by his side had in fact been approached by quite a number of young men initially but her constant frigid attitude was enough to get them to give up. She had been devoted to Himura. 'Had' being the key word. Now she was his and he gloried in the knowledge.

Kaoru made a face in her sleep. She mumbled and shivered. Something was upsetting her, but Enishi didn't know what and was powerless to do anything for her. He gave a low growl in his throat. He hated not being able to do anything, as he was always in control. There were moments where he had been helpless in the past, but he swore that it would never happen to him again. Putting his arms around her, she readily pressed against him. For a moment he considered waking her up to see if she was willing to help him release some of the hormones that her instinctive comfort seeking were stirring as she strained against his body, but eventually he decided not to as more sleep for them both was much more preferable. He kissed the top of her head and closed his eyes.

*

Kaoru opened her eyes and tried to figure out where she was because it certainly wasn't her room and there was something generating a lot of heat very near to her. After a quick recap of last night that flashed through her brain she noticed that she was, well, naked and blushing with an arm slung around her. The arm was attached to a lean and handsome white haired man and Kaoru smiled at his peacefully smiling form. Asleep and without his glasses he looked less formidable, and even a little sad. Most men looked like little boys when asleep, but she wondered if he ever had a chance to be a little boy. Sad seemed to be the most appropriate describer. She suppressed the desire to touch him because she figured he would need the sleep and that would surely wake him up. Extracting herself was the top priority. And finding her clothes. She needed to get herself up and out to the gym. As much exercise as she had last night, there was no excuse to miss practicing. Gently rolling away from him she slid to the floor and then got up to search around. Finding her clothes was painfully easy as his room was rather Spartan in appearance.

There was a bed, a desk, a dresser and closet. and a garbage can. Nothing else of note. No clothes strewn about, and not even a clothes hamper in sight. Everything was perfectly ordered and structured to give him the most possible room, and it was all very bland. It was as if something in him were untouchable, that's what this room said to her, but she shoved it aside as idle thought from a tired person. A few hours with a sword would set things right again. First she felt as if she needed to leave something for him though. Maybe a note or something. Digging around in her purse she found an empty envelope and a pen, quickly she scribbled something and left it on his immaculate desk. With an admiring glance in his direction as he lay half with the blankets draped around his hips, Kaoru stepped out of his room and quietly closed the door. No one appeared to be up. That was fine with her as she didn't really want to face his roommates. All that noise. there was no way they couldn't know what happened last night unless they were REALLY drunk.

It was a little past noon, and Kaoru felt a bit bleary and dirty since she hadn't brushed her teeth yet and her hair was all tangled. The walk home was very cold and odd. She spent it considering what this would mean. Except for a couple unexciting experiences with each of her two boyfriends in high school, she had not really had much involvement with sex. What she did know is that her boyfriends had become mindless pigs after they had done it, and that's why she hadn't been too interested in starting up anything when she got to college. Then she had met Kenshin, and Kenshin was different. She trusted him. Enishi was different, but not at all like Kenshin, and she trusted him too in a different way. When it came to Enishi, Kaoru didn't know where she stood. She felt protected and wanted, but there was a vague look he would get once in a while lately and she realized that there was so much that she didn't know about him. Best not to worry now. Stepping up, she slipped the key in her front door and walked in whistling a happy jaunty little melody.

"And what happened to you last night young lady?" Megumi turned off the TV. "You certainly didn't come back last night and." Megumi narrowed her eyes and gave a theatrical gasp. "You had SEX!"

"Not so loud, Megumi, geez." Kaoru tried to make her way upstairs quickly. This was more embarrassing than she needed on a Sunday morning.

"You can't get away that easily!" Megumi followed up the stairs halfway as Kaoru went into her room to change. "I can't believe you actually did it. Seriously, you hardly know him and you're already willing to do that with him. I mean." Megumi sputtered. Kenshin's prospects were getting slimmer with this new development. Kaoru was just on the fast track to getting herself hurt. She felt she needed to do something for Kaoru's sake. "Did he force you?"

"No Megumi, he didn't. It wasn't unpleasant, and I felt perfectly ready and in control of my senses. You don't have to worry about me, really."

Megumi considered this for a minute or two and sat down on the stairs. "Well. so how was he then?"

"MEGUMI!"

"Ok, ok, you can't blame me for asking." Megumi backed down the stairs as Kaoru emerged in her training outfit. Kenshin had some answering to do. What had happened? How had Kaoru ended up at Enishi's after Kenshin saw them? There were a lot of variables here that she must not be seeing. Now was not the time to clarify them though. "Have a good time then. don't work yourself too hard, I'm sure you're probably more sore than you know."

Kaoru paused at the front door and chuckled at that. "Megumi, you are the worst." There was no malice in her words, and only a vague bit of annoyance. She opened the door and stepped out. As the door closed Megumi turned around and started back to her room. Kaoru's head popped back in before the door shut. ". and he was GREAT." The door firmly closed and Megumi chuckled. At least she was happy, but for how long?

*

Practice was gratifying. It helped her focus on nothing but movement and the fact that her body was a little sore in places she forgot existed. The sword's motions were a little jerky because of that, but she made up for it by adding extra strength to it. Sweat poured from her body, and she looked forward to the shower that she would shortly be getting. Being clean would be glorious. Kaoru was just putting things away and stepping out when she ran into Kenshin on her way out. The first reaction on her part was extreme guilt. It was as if she were cutting all her ties with him, and last night was an important step in that. He was probably relieved that she wasn't going to follow him around like a puppy anymore. He was carrying a saber and looked a little frazzled, as if he had been practicing but not doing well. In fact he looked terribly worried for some reason. His brows knit together in an expression of concern and he motioned for Kaoru to follow him.

"Kaoru, I think you should watch out for. Enishi Yukishiro. There is something about him that isn't right." Kaoru swore she could feel something similar to Megumi's accusation ridden tone this morning in Kenshin's voice. "Please, Kaoru, take me seriously, because I, I. care about you and don't want to see you get hurt."

At one time those words would have been enough to send Kaoru into paroxysms of happiness, but now it felt like too little too late. All at once it hit her that she had moved on. There was feeling there for Kenshin, but it had taken a backseat already to her emotional commitment to Enishi. She wondered if that was why she had initiated last night's activities. Maybe she had been looking for a way to move on, but needed that extra push. She had certainly pushed last night. Kenshin had missed his chance. If this little warning wasn't jealousy and actually was friendly concern then that was alright too, but it didn't change the nature of her feelings for Enishi. Even if she wasn't going to call it love, it was more than she had felt in a long time for anyone barring Kenshin, in fact it probably even surpassed her past imagined feelings for Kenshin. Then again, it was going terribly quickly with Enishi. She'd have to be at least a little cautious. Kenshin was giving her a funny look. She had been thinking for a minute or two and he looked as if he expected a response.

"Don't worry Kenshin, I think I know what I'm doing. If I do get hurt, then I'll only be that much wiser for it in the end. Right?" Kaoru gave him a bright smile.

"There's something you're not getting here, and I didn't want to mention it but."

"Then don't. I'm an adult now, and I have to start making decisions like one. I know very well how fast we've seemed to get together and I realize that everyone is concerned, but I wouldn't be so willing to take chances if I didn't trust my friends to support me if things go badly. I'm a strong person. I can take care of things as they are now." Kaoru strode away before Kenshin could say any more. Behind her Kenshin hung his head and clenched his hand around his saber. He would protect Kaoru when the time came. That man was just using her to get to him, but maybe she didn't need to hear that now. She probably wouldn't even believe him. The fact that she might be victimized because of his past mistakes filled him with a terrible rage. He had to protect Kaoru, for his sake as much as hers. If something happened to her he would never be whole again.

*

Kaoru saw Enishi fairly regularly up until finals. Megumi still grumbled a bit but stayed out of things as much as she could manage. Kaoru's absence on weekend nights went largely unremarked on by Megumi except for some analogies between Kaoru and Enishi and bunnies. Finals were hectic, but once they were over everyone was quite at ease. Megumi was going to stay in the house, but Kaoru was required to return home since Christmas was something that was big in her family. Everyone had to get together and go to one relative's house and keep up appearances. Kaoru and her father were mere satellites in this elaborate play, but it did not lessen her responsibility any. Part if what was so important was for her to talk to her dad and tell him her progress in school. That was the part of vacation Kaoru was dreading because it was never enough that Kaoru was doing ok or even well. She had to be the best or he was disappointed in her. It was enough to drive a person mad, and Kaoru had been very happy to leave the house she and her father had shared. She knew he loved her, but it was such a remote and critical love that she wondered sometimes if she needed it at all. Enishi was her stable point until he left for his home, as he had similar responsibilities to present himself to his family. Kaoru was happy with her life. Her friends' pessimism seemed to be unfounded and things were going fine. All in all, she was happy with her life.

*

Enishi saw Kaoru as often as she was willing to see him. She liked her space so he tried not to smother her with attention. At the same time he had noticed that Himura seemed to shadow them once in a while. Kaoru probably never noticed since Himura was good at what he did, but Enishi was very observant and Himura was too distinctive to miss as he was his arch- enemy. Kaoru was growing on him. Questions had begun to pop up and he wasn't sure he wanted Kaoru to learn of his plan to use her to get to Himura. It was the truth, but if there were some way to blackmail that nasty red haired murderer without Kaoru ever finding out, that would be ideal. Already the little man was worried out of his head, and Enishi was sure he had enough of Kaoru's trust to make it so that accusations would be hard to be believed. Even while he wanted to protect Kaoru from the shock, he was worried that he thought that way. Was he losing his edge? Was he losing his hate? It was a terrifying prospect since this mission defined his life and had for years. This slip of a girl was softening him even as he observed himself. He found himself wanting and enjoying sympathizing with her. They were so similar in some ways, and in the ways they were different he found her enjoyable. She laughed so much and there had never been any real joy in his life before. It centered around death and revenge. This girl was not meant for him, and it was unfortunate she had to be caught up in his plot. He would use the break to be away from her and refocus his purpose. If things were going to work he would have to play the game carefully.

*

Kaoru returned from break in mid January with a feeling of ease. Things after Christmas had been pretty dull and now she would get to be with her friends again. There were a few days before classes began and there was plenty of time to do fun things. She had promised Yahiko that they would go to a film festival at the art theater, and she and Megumi were going shopping the next day. Kenshin was going to show her his finished thesis. She had talked with him all through break and he had told her all about how stressful it was to go through the final editing and preparing for his presentation. Soon he would submit it to the committee and see if it got accepted. Kaoru knew there was no way Kenshin would be turned down. He was brilliant, but only he seemed not to know it. Kenshin had also told her all about the fencing competition he had participated in. He had won and was surprised and happy about it, but again there had been no question in anyone's mind that he would win. Kenshin had almost god-like speed when he moved.

The most exciting thing, the thing Kaoru couldn't wait for, was to see Enishi and give him the present she had made for him. She wasn't an artist, but she had a good eye and had found the most beautiful painting of a tiger for him. It was in the Asiatic tradition and looked very clean and stylistic. The only thing Kaoru had done was frame it. She had enough technical prowess to do it and it had taken a long time to fit everything together correctly, but the frame was simple and tight. He needed some sort of decoration in his room, and somehow a tiger just seemed to fit him perfectly. It was large and heavy, but he would find room for her gift somehow. With the picture under her arm she began to trek for his house.

*

Enishi sat in room and thought. Kaoru would get there pretty soon. She had a gift for him, and he had one for her. He wasn't sure what to get her, so he had gotten her jewelry. It had cost a fortune since it was a nicely wrought necklace with a sapphire set in the center, but he didn't care. He had money to burn and getting her a nice gift was important to him, she deserved the best he could give. She'd have enough problems once everything broke with Himura. Enishi squelched his feelings of guilt over that. Sometimes bad things happened. She would get over it. Jewelry could heal many wounds, and the matching earrings to the necklace would be his parting gift to her after he finished with her. The break had forced him back into the sterile environment of his family and renewed again his purpose. Life was revenge, and Kaoru was beginning to get in the way. He would start to distance himself more effectively. That probably meant less sex, and his mind protested automatically. Stupid body, he would conquer his desires.

The doorbell rang, and his heart leaped before he squished it beneath his granite resolve. With a serpentine smile he welcomed Kaoru in. She was carrying an enormous package, and although it was evident that it was a picture, it was wrapped with brown paper so he didn't know what it could be a picture of.

"I thought your room could use some decoration." Kaoru beamed at him with flushed cheeks from the cold and the walk. Her eyes practically glowed. Enishi hated her for a moment for being so very. her. and already chipping away at his resolve to push her away.

"Here." He shoved the box at her. They opened their respective presents. Kaoru gave a little gasp, and looked over at Enishi with her eyebrows raised. She was well aware that this was an expensive gift, even if it were a semi-precious stone. She was going to have a heart attack when she found out what it was made of. With a smirk Enishi finished tearing off the paper on his picture. At first the picture confused him, but then he found himself strangely moved. The picture was primal, and very alive. The tiger was solitary and predatory, and looked like it was out for blood. If that's what she saw in him, she was more insightful than he had credited. In fact, it almost worried him.

"I'll go get some tools to affix a nail over the bed. It will fit there very well." Enishi walked off to another part of the house.

Kaoru sat down and stared at the gift. This was amazing. It was beautiful, but she wondered if she should even accept such an expensive gift. True the painting had been a fair chunk of change, but she had saved a lot by doing the framing herself. There was no way he had spent less than five or six times what she did. Even if he was wealthy, she hoped she never made him feel as if she were simply leeching off of him. He never asked her to pay when they went out, but that was easier to dismiss than this. A bowling game or a dinner once a week was different than this. Even as she thought about giving it back she took it out and went to the bathroom to look at it in the mirror on her neck. It was a chocker and it was the perfect size. Looking in the mirror she noticed something. the stone was the same color as her eyes. If he had done it on purpose of if it were coincidence, that solved her problem for her because the gift enchanted her. With a sigh she took it off and put it back in the box.

Enishi came back with a hammer and a couple nails. It didn't take them long to get everything set up. Now his room look cold and empty, but with a picture in it. That's what Kaoru saw. What Enishi saw was a constant reminder of Kaoru hanging right above his bed. He loved the picture, but there was an uneasy feeling in the pit of his stomach. He told himself that this would pass. Momentary emotions, that's all it was. Tomoe, he had to remember Tomoe always. He was so afraid he was losing Tomoe, soon no one would remember her anymore. It would be as if she had never existed. And this was all Himura's fault. An evil grin broke his bland expression as he watched Kaoru straighten out the picture. He would become the tiger.

But a tiger hunts and lives alone.

Kaoru turned to Enishi with a smile. "That looks good right?"

"It's perfect."

"Good, then I think I need to run. Megumi said that she really wanted to go to the grocery store and there's some stuff I need as well. So I'll be off. Feel free to come by this evening and have some dinner of at my place if you're hungry. I'll just be there." Kaoru waved and made her way over to the door, Enishi close behind her. Kaoru gave Enishi a quick kiss. "I'm glad I'm back home, and even more glad that you are too. I can't believe how much I've come to rely on you these past couple months." With a wink she disappeared. Enishi looked down at nothing and eventually wandered over to the couch and sat down to stare at the wall. People like him weren't meant to be happy, and people like her should never get involved with someone fated for destruction. He needed to do some more thinking. Obviously, he could not get a good handle on his current situation.

*

The beginning of February had arrived. Soon Kenshin was going to give his thesis presentation. Soon class work would become much more intense and bog everyone down in routine again. Those were about the only things on Kaoru's mind as she went about her day. That wasn't entirely true, however, because something else was lingering in the back of her thoughts: Enishi. He had been getting more and more odd recently, with his behaviors and mannerisms. Usually he was at least willing to make polite conversation when they came across other people, but for some reason everything he was saying was false. Only Kaoru could really tell, because everyone else thought he was still the same as always. His smiles were more frequent and too big, and often his words held barbs, but people generally ignored it or didn't catch it. The most alarming thing to Kaoru was how he was losing all the softness of character he had slowly gained in the time they had been together. It was as if there were something important he wasn't telling her. It could be his family, since they had both avoided that subject of conversation and yet were so affected by it. It could be general moodiness. The only thing that really alarmed her was the possibility that it could be her.

Kaoru was a practical girl. She wasn't going to give away her heart just because some guy was handsome, or intelligent, or flattering. There were a lot of things about Enishi that were very prickly and unavailable, but she accepted that. Yet, though it all he was always himself around her. There was no front he had to give when they were together. It was a principle of personal honesty that she enjoyed. Lately that hadn't been the case. It was as if there were two of him, one cold and terrible and the other remote but gentle. Whatever was going on, it was getting aggravating. She should say something, but she was afraid of what she would initiate and when all was said and done, she was sure that he meant more to her than a lot of people. maybe even more than anyone else in her life. That concept scared her. But she trusted him. That was all she could do. Without the risk, life would be much more hollow.

Maybe that's why what happened next was inevitable.

*

"I think we shouldn't see one another anymore." Enishi had the guts to at least look her in the eyes when he said it, even as the tears swelled in them. Kaoru became very still. So this is why they had driven out to the spot on the hill he had taken her when they first were going out. This is where he felt most comfortable, and if anything she did was upsetting it wouldn't be in public.

"I see." She chocked a little. "And why, if I may ask?" She thought she was taking this pretty well.

He looked away at that. "It's complex, but essentially it's because you shouldn't be in my life." He paused. "It's better for both of us this way, I can't tell you any more than that. I just hope you'll walk away and not look back."

"Hn." Kaoru's throat had closed up from the impending tears, but she was strong enough to stop them for a while. He started the ignition and drove them back to her house. For a moment neither of them moved. When they got out of the car he made a motion as if he were going to hug her, but then pulled back. His eyes narrowed.

"Hate me if you can. It would be better that way. I deserve it." He waited a moment for Kaoru to react, but it was as if something inside of her had died. She was like a doll. "If you still don't understand after a few days, talk to Himura, he will know why."

"Goodbye." She said tonelessly. Turning around she made her way into the house and shut the door without looking back. Enishi got into his car after watching her go and began to drive away.

He had finally done it. He had stopped using her, at the price of giving her up, giving up on his complex revenge. It would be messier this way, but he didn't care anymore. Himura was at fault again. If it were not for him, then he would not have to give her up. Maybe now she could find someone who deserved her, someone not contaminated by greed, hate, and the incessant coldness of emotion he felt would always possess his soul. Tomoe was going to go unavenged. Everything was wrong. There was no justice. But he had done it to protect her. Then again he hadn't counted on making a huge mistake that hadn't entered his calculations: you just can't fall in love with the tool of revenge. He hadn't even considered love. There was no room for it in his life after Tomoe had died. So far as he was concerned his love had died when she did. But somewhere Kaoru had found a spark of something and whenever he was with her he was at once so happy and so scared of losing her. Rather than continue to live in uncertainty, he had chosen this for himself.

He felt like hurting someone.

He felt like ripping something apart.

He felt empty.

That's why all he did in the end was cry. For the first time since he had heard the news of his sister's death he cried. Somehow, it was worse than if Kaoru had died. She was so close to him, but gone all the same. He was a fool. How could something as cursed as him think that there was any happiness for him in this life? It was certainly not a very happy Valentine's Day.

*

Megumi began to wonder about Kaoru after half a day had passed and she hadn't moved from her room. Sometimes she would look in, but Kaoru was still there, lying in bed and not moving. It was even more alarming that she didn't respond when Megumi said things to her. Megumi talked to Sano, but he didn't know what was wrong. Kenshin was equally clueless. Megumi didn't want to speak to Enishi, partially because she still didn't like him, but mostly because she was sure he was the cause. The next day Megumi left food outside Kaoru's door. She drank the water and ate a few bites and then went back to bed. Other than the fact that she was still functioning, she seemed comatose. Finally, Megumi tried to burst in and get her to respond. Nothing. Frightened, she called Kenshin and told him about Kaoru and her unresponsiveness. Kenshin came over immediately. It was just as bad as Megumi had said. Kaoru had missed a day of classes, but seemed unconcerned with everything around her.

"Kaoru?" Kensin sat down on the bed beside her curled up form. "I don't know what he did to you, but I'm sorry I didn't even get a chance to stop him. I wish I could have warned you about him. Please just tell me what he did to you, and then maybe we can get you some help." Kaoru stirred a little, covering up her face. "Please Kaoru, we all are so worried about you. especially me. I'm sorry I never paid attention to you before. I think I could have prevented this I weren't so messed up inside. Let me help you Kaoru." All at once something inside of her snapped. Kaoru sat up and clung to Kenshin like he were her last link to life. The tears flowed down her cheeks, and her red eyes were slightly sunken betraying her sleeplessness.

"Why did he leave me Kenshin?" Kaoru held him and shook as she spoke. "Why was I so stupid as to give away my heart and not even know it? He said the answers lay with you, and I need those answers."

Kenshin had not expected this. He had underestimated Enishi.

"I'll tell you Kaoru. This starts before he ever met you. Do you remember when I told you about Tomoe?" Kaoru nodded. "Enishi is Tomoe's younger brother, and his sole reason for coming to this school was to take revenge on me, the murderer of his beloved sister. You were part of his plot for revenge." Kaoru jerked away from Kenshin. "I know it is difficult for you to accept this, but I have proof, if you'll clean yourself up and come with me then I can answer all your questions."

Shocked and unable to even think of what she had to face, Kaoru did as Kenshin asked. Maybe she would have some peace for her mind, but more likely her heart was going to break all the more after this. Whatever the outcome, there was no way she could ignore Kenshin's offer.


	7. Chapter 7

Kaoru listlessly walked into Kenshin's apartment. Even though she was anxious to know more, she couldn't shake the passive sadness that had immobilized her for so long. It was a terrible thing really. Just when she thought maybe she could move forward with her life, maybe that things were going well, everything feel apart around her. The worst part of it all was the feeling of vulnerability. She was a strong girl, but she didn't feel strong enough to put her will up against anyone at that moment. Kenshin, for good or for ill, probably knew that. Kaoru wondered what he was going to tell her.

"Sit down Kaoru. This is probably not going to be pleasant."

"Fine." Terse and sullen, her meaning was clear that he had better have something good.

Kenshin cleared his throat a blushed a little. He really was quite an adorable man. Kaoru couldn't help but soften just a little at his nervousness. His words erased that ray of compassion immediately. "The first time I met Enishi was that night at the theater. I went there to meet you two on purpose. I wanted to see who this person was who had captivated you. Honestly, I was jealous. Your attention had been mine alone for so long, and even if I hadn't wanted it. it was comforting in its consistency and flattering as well. As soon as you were taken away, I thought maybe I did want you after all. It is a terrible irony that that is how we humans have to work, that we never know how much something means to us until its gone." Kenshin got a distant look in his eyes as he spaced out a moment.

"Anyway, that was the first time I had ever met Enishi. though I had heard Tomoe speak of him fondly I had only seen a few childish pictures of a black haired and myopic imp. I never would have connected the two of them now, until he made it very clear to me who he was. If that were all, I never would have pursued the issue, I would have let things be, but he also said something else to me that night. 'Enjoy your time with her while you can, the future is very uncertain you know', and that's all he needed to say for me understand several things. The first was that you were in trouble, without a doubt in my mind I knew that. The second was that his revenge was something he enjoyed. The way he smiled and easily touched you. I never wanted to hurt someone more than in that moment. That's why. it's the reason.. I followed you on nearly every one of your dates after that." Kaoru gave a sharp intake of breath. This was honestly kind of scary to hear from Kenshin, his eyes had an odd glimmer that she didn't understand. If she didn't know better it was rage, but Kenshin never got angry.

"I know it is a terrible thing to have invaded your privacy like that, but I thought it would be the only way to make sure you were safe. I worried the most whenever you went home with him, and I waited until morning when you left to make sure you were ok. I felt like a wreck, sure that someday you wouldn't come out of the house and I'd find you in a ditch somewhere. or I was waiting for the day when you got pregnant and he left you just to get to me. Something, I don't what, was going to happen to you. Maybe after a week or two I would have dismissed things, but then it happened again." Kenshin took a deep breath as his voice also altered as he spoke, deeper, more monotone. "You were at a restaurant. I left to go to the bathroom and as I was coming out, Enishi was there leaning against a wall, waiting for me. Without looking up at me he said 'We're going to get desert somewhere else after this before we go back to the house, so you can save yourself the trouble and just wait there since it's a bit of a drive and you must want to enjoy your dinner.' Then he looked up and smiled. He had known for who knows how long that I had been following you two. I felt so much shame. I swore to myself I would tell him something, anything, to see if maybe I had been mistaken about his intentions, but as soon as I opened my mouth his smile turned ugly. He told me 'You won't know until it happens, but then that's justice. You took something from me suddenly, and soon I'll take her from you. Death will be too good for you. and if you keep following us maybe for her too.' Then he laughed and walked away."

Kaoru wondered if she should believe Kenshin. He could be making this up. Her mind rebelled against thinking Enishi was capable of something so sinister. Come on, you always thought he had a mean streak in him. A voice in her head murmured. She killed it as fast as she could. "Why, Kenshin? Why should I believe your story? You don't exactly pain a nice portrait of yourself in this, my good stalker. Truly, I have even more reason to think you made it up if that is true."

Kenshin sighed. "You can ask Enishi if you like. I don't care. But I am telling you the truth because you deserve a reason that he left. I don't want you to pine over trash like him, and I don't care what opinion you take of me after this because I am just trying to help you."

Kaoru jumped up. "You've done plenty, you bastard!" Her head was throbbing and tears were starting to form at the edges of her eyes. "If you hadn't killed his sister than I could have had a normal life with the man I love! I hate you! I hate him! Fuck you both!" She stormed out of the apartment and slammed the door.

Having expected something like this, Kenshin watched from the window as Kaoru made her way down the street in the opposite direction from her home. He knew he wasn't supposed to go after her in this situation. The overwhelming feeling that he had lost her was a stain on his heart. On the one hand, he knew that he had been really fond of her and had merely not let himself desire her and that spoke well for his emotional recovery from Tomoe. Then again, he had already lost her. That didn't matter now though, as much as he hated to admit it, Enishi had done the right thing in letting her go and he had to respect the fact that it was Kaoru herself who had probably changed him. Nothing less than obsession or a similarly strong emotion would get Enishi to release his perfect revenge. He wasn't going to tell Kaoru that, even though that would have been a decent thing to do. She would have had more faith in Enishi again, more faith in himself as well. But he didn't want her to be with Enishi again. Kaoru should have been his. pride and heart stinging Kenshin felt his conscience urge him to pick up the phone.

Eventually, he had to pick up the phone.

*

Enishi stood there, coat blowing around him as the dead brown world around him reflected his brittle attitude in that moment. For some reason he was coming to meet his mortal enemy. Why he hadn't slammed down the phone the second he had heard that distinctive, unsure, hatful voice he was not sure. But he was here now. It had better be important, he had a lot of things to do. Transferring schools was going to be hard enough a month into the semester and he had a lot of calls to make and things to box up. He would have been done already, but he had been avoiding his room and her. that picture. A car pulled up, a red haired man stepped out. Enishi already felt his fighting blood stir. Yes he still wanted this man to die by his hands, and maybe in a less judicially observant time he would have done so. Maybe he still would.

"I know you don't want to hear anything I have to say, but this isn't about me." Kenshin felt his defenses go up. Enishi practically exuded his hate like an essence. Something in Kenshin's heart stirred in response, something angry at being targeted by the world, something that wanted to see fresh blood. Shoving down these unpleasant thoughts, he continued. "She is very hurt right now, and may do something drastic. I told her the truth, but she needs to hear it from you."

"Hell if I'm telling her that. You have no right to say these things to me. I don't even know why I came here." He began to turn and walk away before he actually did throw a punch at the little man who would always be a murderer in his eyes.

"Then I guess I love her more than you do." The words were our before Kenshin could stop them. Maybe he didn't want to stop them.

Enishi launched himself at Kenshin. His fist smashed into Kenshin's nose and eye before Kenshin landed one in Enishi's gut hard enough to wind him. They pulled away from one another. Enishi immediately thought of the sword still in his trunk, but it was too far away. The two men circled one another slowly, calculatingly. Enishi was the first to attack yet again, and Kenshin was fast, but Enishi's reach was long enough to cancel out Kenshin's speed and the two men locked together yet again. Blood splattered the ground as Kenshin split open Enishi's lip, it would probably need stitches. Rushing forward, Enishi slammed Kenshin into a tree. Judging from the crack his head made against the trunk, it would certainly result in a concussion. Slumping to the ground, both men gasped and choked from their sudden painful exertion. The pain in Enishi's jaw was enormous, and he avoided touching it. Kenshin groaned.

"You took both of them from me. I hate you. I've always hated you." Enishi mumbled under his breath, trying not to say anything around his possibly broken jaw.

"I've lost as well. Maybe not as much as you. But I haven't used it as an excuse to not continue living my life. or at least I won't let it be an excuse anymore. I suggest you do the same. For both of your sakes." Kenshin stood up and felt dizzy and in pain. "You'll never see me again after this, and I'm sure we'll both be happier that way. Just make things right with her. What with her uncertain behavior and impetuistic decisions. I just don't want to be the one saying 'If only I could have done something to stop her.'." He paused a moment. "She almost stopped functioning since you left her." Kenshin knew he was implying something far fetched because Kaoru would never commit suicide, but he had to make sure Enishi would know the situation was dire. Leaving without another word, Kenshin tried to keep himself together enough to get to his car. It was going to be an unpleasant trip home.

Enishi sat on the ground a moment or two longer. He was a coward for not telling her the truth. The bastard may have had a point in that, even if he was waste of human life. Sure beat the crap out of you though, never thought the jellyfish could do it. Squishing down the rogue admiration, he stood up and drove himself to the hospital. First things first, he thought, and then once I can speak again Kaoru will hear everything. But even he did not know what this concept of everything would actually entail.

*

Kenshin closed the door behind him, only to discover a form silently staring at him from his couch. With a gasp that had him immediately clutching his head, he recognized Kaoru's scowl. At first she seemed dour, but she leapt up from the couch with a look of concern as she saw the bloody scrapes on his face and quickly blackening eye. Helping Kenshin over to the couch to sit down, she got some frozen veggies from the freezer for his eye. Applying it gently until he took it from her grasp, she silently regarded him until he said something.

"I was in a fight."

"Obviously."

"Over you." She was silent at that. "As much as I never want to admit it, and as much as I think you two should not be together, I think he may actually love you as much as he is capable of doing so." Kenshin scowled. "I say that as your friend, and not as the man who just broke someone's jaw for the right to go after you. I'm not proud of my actions. I haven't been for a while. But I think that maybe I'll be able to get on the right track now, and lead a more normal life." Kaoru regarded him for a moment, then smiled.

"I went for a very long walk while you were gone. I thought out some things. Before I make a decision, I need to hear what Enishi had to say about all this. Once I hear things from him, then I'll let you know what I'm going to do. You were right though, anyone out to use me doesn't deserve to destroy my soul like he did. I'm stronger than that, but I'm not able to recover as quickly as it appears right now." Her smile wavered. "I'll always love you Kenshin, but I think that regardless of how this turns out I may not be able to love you as more than a friend for a long time, if ever. I'm sorry."

Kenshin closed his eyes and let the pain in his head make shapes in the rosy darkness. It would be ok. Everything hurt like hell, but it really would be ok eventually. "I know. Sometimes fate works in terrible ways. Even so, I'd appreciate it if maybe you could call Sano and get him to come over." Someone had to be here to make sure he didn't fall asleep if he did have a concussion.

"Sure." Kaoru got up and walked away.

*

Kaoru had stayed until a while after Sano got there. Having been no stranger to fighting from an early age up until now, he knew how to take care of things. Kenshin was beat up, but not past hope. If anything Sano was impressed that the passive little man had actually been in a fight let alone fought back. Kenshin tried to reconcile things in his own head, since a part of his had been very pleased when Enishi's lip had bled all over, but he knew that he could keep a firm grip on that evil in his heart. He wasn't afraid he had to be perfect anymore. It wasn't a happy way to live. Kenshin just hoped that Kaoru would find some peace for herself as well.

At that moment Kaoru was stopped in entranceway of her house, a stunned look on her face. Enishi was sitting there, a bag of ice in one hand and with several stitches in his lip. He also looked worse for the wear, just like Kenshin. He stood up, as did Megumi, who had probably only reluctantly let him in as she did not trust him one bit. Why she even let him in at all was a mystery, but maybe he didn't come from a family of lawyers for nothing. Megumi, for once being somewhat tactful, moved to her room to give them some time alone. Kaoru's eyes never left Enishi's as Megumi vacated the premises.

"You don't look very shocked to see me, considering." Enishi tried not to grimace as he spoke.

"I was with Kenshin before I came home. Sano's helping him now." Kaoru saw an ugly expression flit across his face at Kenshin's name. He can't hide his feelings anymore, I guess she thought to herself. Suddenly, she felt very tired again. Purposefully, she hardened her attitude. It was so difficult to hate him, even now. "What do you want?"

"I needed to talk to you. to tell you." He started, but Kaoru interrupted.

"What, that Kenshin was right? That you used me? Threatened me? That our relationship was a lie from the start? Any part of me that doubted it from the beginning had slowly come to realize that your being here right now is as much proof as I need that it is all true." His head hung down, he couldn't meet her eyes any more. "I have been close enough to catatonic for several days thinking again and again what I might have done wrong, why you left. The possibility that you were going to destroy me was not one of the things I had assumed would end our relationship. I would be showing you out right now if it were not for the fact that I am a curious person. I want to know why you broke up with me when you did. why you didn't follow through with your plans whatever they were. Why?" Kaoru sat down opposite from where her stood. She was so close to falling apart. This show of strength was all she had left. A lot of things were contingent on his answers right now.

The words were so difficult to extract. "I think that there was a time when all your accusations would have been perfectly correct." Her face fell and his heart cracked inside. "If I were a better villain I would have dropped the plan involving you and found a new one the second that I actually began to enjoy your company. You reminded me of my sister at first. that was where it started. You seemed so much like her, and it just made me hate Kenshin all the more. Every time you smiled, I thought maybe I was getting that much closer to what I had lost. But as time went on you resembled her less and she resembled you more. then there was just you. I was scared. I was losing focus. The hate was harder to retain around you, it was like part of what defined me was being lost and I was happy about it?" He ran his hand through his hair and came back with some grit and a twig or two. "Damn it Kaoru, you got under my skin and I couldn't stop loving you if I tried. I knew that I couldn't go through with it any more. I couldn't use you to get to him. Most importantly I knew that I was the last person you should ever be with. I was filth, and you were like an angel. I don't know what to say." He turned away from her.

She had needed to hear this all so badly. It was the best she could have hoped for considering. He had changed. He loved her. There was hope.

It was a beautiful moment for her.

"I think you should leave." Her words were soft.

"What?" Enishi felt something inside of him burst. He had told her. but what was this?

"You need to leave right now. I did love you. But the you I loved was just a projection, something unreal and assumed to make me like you."

"No, Kaoru.. I swear.." Enishi sputtered.

"No matter what you say, you can never convince me that some part of what we were wasn't fake. For me to give you another chance I would have to be a different me, and you would have to be the real you. I love you Enishi. But I just can't trust you anymore."

"You're choosing Himura?"

"Me not choosing you is not synonymous with me choosing Kenshin. If it makes you feel better, no I'm not going to go out with Kenshin. You have changed me Enishi. You've given me something to reach for, and I don't think that Kenshin can ever give me that. Maybe no one can. We'll see. Have faith in me though. Can you honestly say you love me?"

"Yes. I may not be sure of some things in my life, but I will always love you."

"If you trust that, then I pity you and admire you. No one could accuse you of inconsistency." Kaoru rose and kissed Enishi lightly on the cheek. "Goodbye." He walked towards the door, confused and saddened. This was not what he had expected to come of his confession.

"I'm transferring next week Kaoru. You won't even have to see me any more. I'm sorry I ever came into your life for your sake. I'm just so sorry." He closed the door behind him and walked to his car numbly.

Kaoru felt something inside of her unwind. Things were going to be different. She would have a new start and so would he. Maybe she would get it right this time. But right now she had to heal, and so did he. So did Kenshin for that matter. Time would help things, but she was taking a terrible gamble. If she were wrong, then everything she had come to treasure would be lost. All she could hope for was that Enishi had no lied when he said he would always love her.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was my first finished fanfic in 2003. Yikes. Thanks for reading. Hope you enjoyed.

Enishi felt a melancholic sense of déjà vu. Here he was at another Halloween party, at his house, alone. Only his house was in a different state, and the business kids were different, and he was a senior now at a different school. Everywhere was the same, he had decided. Soon he'd be in law school somewhere prestigious and making a name for himself as a heartless bastard lawyer just like his father and make that cold snake of a man proud. It was enough to turn his stomach, if the alcohol wasn't already doing that. He was almost drunk enough to look at the ladies present. Almost. Not quite enough. He was never quite drunk enough. That was the problem. As soon as they weren't her. Or he'd pass out first. It had been happening more and more as the months progressed. Drinking to forget. It was like he was in exile, alone and abandoned. Everyone left him. His sister had left him for Himura and then she died, loving Himura, not him. At least Kaoru hadn't chosen Himura. No, she had chosen nothing over him. He didn't understand. So many months and the pain seemed to not want to fade from his mind.  
The room was fading though. Swimming in fact. He got up and staggered outside. It was about that time. He had rushed the drinking tonight and he could feel his body get ready to expel the poison from his system. Stepping to the back of the yard, he found a convenient bush and vomited. Afterwards he felt a little better, but the buzz was gone. Drinking more was probably a bad idea, but he grabbed something anyway after cleaning out his mouth with some water. He was about to take a drink, when someone stopped him.

"Don't you think that would be unwise? You don't look too good." He unfocused and refocused on the voice, but all he could tell was some fuzzed and blurry feminine form was there. His glasses and been placed somewhere earlier, and he couldn't remember where. Damn his faulty eyes, and his drunkenness.

"Thanksh. Thank you for your, er, concern. But I can take care of. Do I know you?"

"No. We've never met before. I'm just visiting for a while. I thought a party might be fun. I'm starting to think maybe it's not." She sounded a little disappointed.

"Well, don't let me stop you. If you're looking to meet someone, there are plenty of guys in there who are interested."

"You aren't though?" She moved closer to him, despite the odor of alcohol he exuded, and he felt his body actually stir in response to her proximity. This was an unusual development. He was not sure he liked this.

"No." He said it softly, almost to himself. "I'm afraid I'm not looking for anything like that at the moment. Just go inside and save yourself the trouble." He wavered a bit as he listed to the side.

"At least let me help you somewhere where you can lay down. You really seem to be very wasted." She did sound concerned, and he did need help. He wasn't swayed by the fact that he wanted to take this girl. No, not at all swayed in any way.

"Yes."

They made their way towards his room and he tried to get a closer look at his companion. Attractive companion, apparently. He had never reacted to ugly women. There was always a first time, but he pushed the possibility aside. He leaned on her and enjoyed the contact. It had been so long since he had touched a girl in a companionable way. There had been a few he had kissed, but there had been nothing there. Kaoru was the best anti- aphrodisiac out there for him when it came to other women. He had met her a year ago. That's why tomorrow he would wake up with the worst hangover in creation.

When he got into the room he stumbled around for a moment and reclaimed his glasses from his night stand. Looking up, he saw the tiger picture and decided that no matter how much he wanted this girl, she had to get out. Turning around he saw her with her back facing him, studying the room. She had feathery angel wings on and a partially see-through diaphanous white gown on, with white underwear on under it. It was provocative, and her body was nice enough to make it extremely erotic as well.

"You don't have a halo." He noted this aloud.

"I don't deserve one.. I don't know if I like your room. It's actually a little bit messy."

"I don't see what puts you in the position to criticize me." He was defensive. Damn it. She had to leave now before he did something he regretted. "I think I need to get to sleep, if you would."

"Leave? I don't think you want that." She walked around, picking things up. This was getting annoying.

"Look. you really need to leave." He put a hand on her shoulder as she turned, and he was taken aback by what he saw. He was sure that he was passed out and dreaming. This couldn't be Kaoru. She was far away, both mentally and physically.

"And I still think you don't actually want that. Mainly because you aren't doing a very good job of hiding, er, that." She pointed down, and Enishi tried to make his pants a little looser. "Allow me to introduce myself. I'm Kaoru Kamiya, I'm just here visiting an old friend. I'm not sure whom yet, but I'm sure I must know someone who went to this school if I try to find them. I thought going to a party would be fun. Was I wrong?" She smiled up at him, and he noticed the fear in her for the first time. He would have seen it earlier if he had been less drunk. For a moment he thought about rejecting her. It would be justice of a sort. But he pushed the thought away after a moment. This sense of "justice" in him had already brought himself all sorts of grief.

"I'm glad to. meet you, Miss Kamiya." He did a little bow and almost fell over. "Enishi Yukishiro. And I'd like to point out that introductions aside, it is still highly forward of you to be staying in my room. Care to go somewhere else?" Oh gosh the room was spinning. Good thing she had stopped him from drinking more.

"I don't think somewhere else is where you need to be." She helped him sit down on the bed. "Just get some rest." She got up and walked towards the door. Enishi began to panic. She was going away again. Maybe she wouldn't come back.

"Kaoru." he got up, too quickly for the nauseated feeling was overwhelming, and stopped her at his door. "Stay." She paused and smiled.

"Ok. Just for now because I'm worried about you passing out." She allowed herself to be led over to the bed. "But all we're going to do is sleep, got it buster? I'm not someone who does this sort of thing with guys I've just met." Enishi didn't care. If she wanted to start over, he wasn't going to spoil her little act. The idea of beginning again with no false pretenses was too tempting for him to want to end it anyway. Just having her back was enough, though when he was thinking more clearly he wondered if things would be that simple. Closing his eyes he felt her press up against him, now wingless but still in the rest of her clothes. His fallen angel. He smiled as he fell asleep, oblivious to the sounds of the party outside his room.

"Kaoru?" he said wearily before the world faded away.

"Hmmm?"

"You do know it wasn't a costume party, right?" There was silence for a moment.

"No. But it's not like I was going to get turned away from a party for wearing close to nothing."

Enishi chuckled.

*

Even if it were afternoon when he woke up, it felt like morning. The beginning of the day was always morning regardless of the hour. True to form his head hurt, but not as much as he thought it would. Kaoru was still asleep. She had probably had a long drive yesterday. Almost half a day's drive, unless she had flown (which was unlikely as she hated to fly). He had certainly tried to get pretty far away from her, but not close enough to be approachable by his parents. The distance probably didn't matter to her though. That was a comforting thought. Finally noticing his own still pungent aroma of alcohol, he decided a shower would be best. No one else in the house was up yet, as he had been the first to bed by far, and so taking a shower was a relatively peaceful activity. Changed, still hung over, and now looking more like his normal self, he returned to his room to find Kaoru curled into a ball with all his covers as the house was pretty cold and even with her clothes still on it didn't help her much. He leaned over her and braced his hands against the bed.

"Wake up, it isn't like you to sleep this late."

"Mmmphhmmm." It wasn't a groan, it wasn't it mumble, but something in between. He continued to brace himself over her. She didn't open her eyes or turn towards him, but her arm came up and her fingers tugged lightly at his earring, making his head list to the side. It would have been annoying if she weren't so cute.

"You leave me no choice then." Unceremoniously he grabbed one end of the blanket and pulled, leaving her curled up on the bed and shivering, he was glad she hadn't kept a hold on his earring.

"You're so mean." Blearily she rubbed her eyes and then her arms to ward off the chill. After a moment she stood up right in front of him. "But warm, apparently." Grabbing him in a grand hug she pulled the two of them back, unbalancing them both, and sending them crashing back onto the bed. "I'll use you instead of blankets then."

Head throbbing a little bit, but enjoying the feeling of her beneath him, Enishi wrapped his arms around her as best he could. That outfit she was wearing really was flimsy, especially in the daylight. Sure a bikini would have shown more, but the suggestion of clothing was somehow more erotic than if she hadn't been wearing anything but underwear. He leaned down to kiss her, but she turned her head away and all he got was her ear. Kaoru giggled.

"Such a tease. We did sleep together after all. Can't I even get a kiss?" Enishi felt lighthearted. It wasn't just some fantasy his drunken mind had conjured, like pink elephants, she was as real as anything.

Kaoru studied his expression. "First tell me a little about yourself. Do you have any family?"

"Why do we have to play at this Kaoru?"

"Well?" She obviously was not acknowledging anything beyond last night. She was an odd one.

"Fine, I'll keep this up. I've got a mom and a dad, and some other relatives and stuff." he paused. He watched her intent expression and realized this was part of some sort of test. Something in him knew what she needed to hear. "I used to have an older sister. She died," he only paused a second. "It was an accident."

"An accident?"

"Yes, it was a car accident. It tore my world apart. It's taken years to put the pieces together again. I'm still working on it."

"Well, I just got out of a very dysfunctional relationship with someone I loved very much. I'm working on healing as well. Perhaps we can help one another? It may be a long shot." Enishi clutched her to him so tightly that she could almost not breathe. When he finally let go enough for her to gasp a little, she had a big smile on her face and so did he. "I take it that you do want to then."

Rather than answer, Enishi pinned her down and began to tickle her. Laughing, she fidgeted and fought back as best she could. After a couple minutes they were both breathing hard and Kaoru was tearing up from laughing so hard. Her gown had ridden up quite a way, and Enishi noted this and stopped his torture of her only to start a torture of a different kind. Even though he had had memorized every curve of her months ago, he took time as if he had forgotten to look her over again. Where his hands went his mouth followed in a similar path, and Kaoru ran her hands up his back and into his hair as he moved up and down her body.

Pretty soon, Enishi's clothing began to feel too restrictive and he pulled off his shirt fast enough. As he did he noted Kaoru's hand making fast work of his belt and even starting to undue his pants as well, looking down at her concentrated expression he laughed a little. She looked up guiltily for a moment, to be caught in such an embarrassing display of lust, but that soon passed. They both stood up and Kaoru slipped off the see through dress before walking over and finishing the job she started on Enishi's pants. She gave a laugh.

"Mmm?" He looked into her amused eyes with confusion.

"I thought. well. since I'm down here." She ran a hand up his thigh and his muscle twitched. He said nothing. Taking that as silent agreement, Kaoru slipped off his underwear and took a sturdier position on her knees.

*

It didn't take long until a loud thump was heard, as if someone had been picked up bodily off of the floor and thrown onto a bed. That is in fact what happened. A slightly muffled second one followed the first thump, as if someone else had jumped onto the person on the bed. That is also what happened. All noises afterwards did not resemble a thump and are best left a mystery. Enishi was never so grateful for having roommates too hung over to be awake.

*

"So what happens now?" Enishi felt the drying sweat chill his skin. He pulled the blanket up around the two of them more. "You live very far away, and we both go to school."

"Shows what you know."

"What?"

Kaoru sat up a little bit and slipped out of bed. She began to put on her clothes again and explained as she did so. "I'm taking the semester off. I delayed declaring a major so long, and I just had no idea what I was doing. I'm looking into film studies though, and where I was wasn't the right place for that. Maybe I'll look into teaching as well. That's my job now. I'm teaching the Kamiya Kasshin Ryu style of sword fighting. Since I've been doing it since I was nine, I feel that I can teach it to people decently enough. I'm also assisting in the instruction of beginning classes of other types of martial arts. The pay isn't great, but it will keep me going."

Looking at her with eyebrows arched, Enishi wasn't sure what to make of this development. Kaoru continued: "I just moved to a town near here, in fact. That's where the job was. It's only about twenty minutes away by car. My apartment is only another five from that. Not glamorous, but it will work."

"Car?" Enishi looked even more stunned.

Blushing Kaoru stumbled over her words a bit. "Yes, car. And don't go comparing it to yours or anything. It's my dad's old one that he didn't use much. He had two cars, but there's just him. He was surprisingly understanding about all this. I think he was glad that I was finally making some definite decisions. Megumi was too. She knew I wasn't enjoying where I was so much, and after last semester school was really disenchanting for me. At least I have a bunch of credits, and they should be transferable somewhere where I can start film study. Or maybe even drama, I could settle for that."

"So you aren't going away? This can actually work?"

Kaoru pulled on her wings and adjusted them. Running a hand through her hair and smoothing it down, she turned to Enishi with a dazzling smile that sent a shiver up his spine. Disregarding his nakedness he leapt up and hugged her for all her was worth, as if his soul was anchored to her, and thought that he would never be happier than in this moment. After a moment of shock Kaoru's arms wound around him.

"I love you, you always knew that. This is our fresh start." Her words soothed any trace of alarm he had felt since she appeared last night.

"I should have had more faith in you. I won't screw things up this time."

"Neither will I. It's agreed then." She stepped back and shook his hand. "Now get some clothes on so I can show you my apartment in all its beautiful squalor." Leaving to find her purse, Enishi watched her close the door with a smirk.

It was like the dead had come back to life, having her back. And she was his. Life suddenly seemed a little less bleak and he thought maybe the future could hold more than just pursuit of financial success. There would be problems, sure, but he had faith again. Kaoru was really an amazing woman. He had to remember to buy her that halo.


End file.
